


Picture Perfect

by Knockknockitssatan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Freeform, M/M, Marauders, POV First Person, POV Remus Lupin, POV Sirius Black, Porn, Porn Star Sirius black, Porn With Plot, Public Blow Jobs, Rimming, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-11-14 05:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11201412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knockknockitssatan/pseuds/Knockknockitssatan
Summary: L: so what should our project be about?P: Beats me.D: So, something that is seen as taboo...R: what was taken from the list Professor D gave?L: Death, Abortion, Religion, Racisim, Political Violence. Someone wrote in Government Conspiracies.D: What about sex?R: Oh Meadows! You and your one track mind lol.D: I mean it! We could cover all of the misunderstandings of the porn industry! I could do a section on BDSM  and the kink community. Marlene already said she's in.L: I could do feminism and porn.P: I could do the business aspect.D: Great! It's settled then!L: What about you Remus?R: Uhhhhhhhhh..... I'll get back to you on that one.





	1. A Man and His Filthies

_She leans over the bridge watching the boats_.

**Click**

_She breathes in the sea air reminding her of the day he left._

**Click**

_He promised her that he'd be back. But when, they didn't know._

**Click**

_He would better their lives for the two of them so they could finally be together._

**Click**

_She turns to look down the bridge hoping to see her long-lost love._

Lilly turn to me and my camera.

"What's the story?" She asked her expression unchanging.

"Your lover left for new world. He said he come back for you and then you'd be together forever." I replied taking another picture.

" Did he come back?" With her hands still on the railing she turned around to look at me.

I Shrugged. "I think that's up to you."

**Another click**

She smiled. She stared right at the camera she placed her hands in her pocket and quickly jogged toward me as the cold breeze blew back her fiery red hair.

**Click**

"Can I see them?" She stood in front of me.  
I smiled turning the screen of my camera towards her so she could look.

"These are always so good Remus! I know no one else who takes pictures like you do!" Her face was astonished that she flipped through them.

I smiled at the warm feeling in my heart.

"Just born with it I guess." I smiled at her and then felt my phone Buzz. I took it out of my pocket and read the message

                     Marlene  
M: Hey I think I got you a job.  
But you need to hurry and get over here. I don't have time to explain.

R: What's it for?

M: A magazine but that's all I can tell you right now. Please Remus I really need you!

I pocketed my phone and grabbed my camera from Lily.

"I got to go. Marlene needs me for something."

She cocked her head. "For what?"

"I don't know Marlene is always very cryptic and won't tell me anything until I get there. I'll see you in a little while to work on the project."

"Okay be careful I love you!" She said hugging me goodbye.

"Goodbye I love you too."

I hopped in my car and headed to the address Marlene sent me.  
The place was huge and looked like a professional studio.

_What magazine is this for?_

I got in the lift and went to the third floor and saw Marlene. She was standing outside waiting for me.

"Oh thank goodness you're here! I'll explain after we meet with the boss okay? Come with me right now!" She grabbed my wrist and we ran down the hall.

Everything was sleek and chrome.

"Okay if boss asks, you've done a couple photoshoots with me and Dorcas."

_Oh no. She can't be serious._

"What magazine is this for exactly?" She turned around and looked at me very nervously before answering my question.

"A uuuuhhhh... Porno mag."  
She mumbled, but I could still hear her.

My heart sank

_You're fucking kidding me._

"Really Marlene? I've told you 15 million times I'm not doing something like that! I'm an artist, not a Prevert!"  
I whisper shouted at her.

"Hey! I'm helping you out here OK!? You said you needed to make some extra money! This a big company. You don't have to use your real name and you'll get royalties for your work. I'm doing you a favor."

We eventually walked into a small office where a big man in a rolly chair sat with a comically large cigar in his mouth.

_Why am I not surprised that this is "the boss"?_

"This is the guy right?"

"Yes sir this is my photographer friend."

"Okay he can set up in the room down the hall just hurry up. Don't want to keep "the star" waiting much longer."

The fat man waved Marlene and I out of the office. Marlene walked me down the insanely long hallway to the very back.  
  
"Okay fine, but my real identity stays out of this."  
  
"Deal!"She  smiled victoriously.  
  
"So what's her name?"  
  
"Oh yeah about that... His name is Sirius. He takes his job very... Seriously."  
  
_A guy?!_  
  
"Yeah! No way!" I turned around to start leaving when she grabbed the sleeve of my jumper.  
  
"I thought that would just make you more comfortable." Her voice was very sincere.  
   
"Yes; comfortable! I'm going to go in there and take pictures while a man gets his cock out and wanks while staring at me! How could someone take a job like this seriously anyway?!"  
  
She spun me around and grabbed my collar.  
  
_Oh shit. I've made her angry. I've only heard about angry Marlene. I wish Dorcas was here to calm her down. I am royally fucked._  
  
"He sees this job the same way as I do! We are not perverts! We are actors, entertainers, artists, just with our own medium. I figured that you, of all people, would understand that." She had fire in her eyes and at this point I was too scared to tell her no.  
  
_I never thought about it that way and I am so so sorry. Please don't kill me!_  
  
"You're right. I should have thought before I spoke. Okay I'll do it."  
  
The fire was extinguished and her contorted face turned into a smile.  
  
"Sorry I scared you. I'm just very passionate about this. As you are with your photography."  
  
I nodded with a smile then opened the door and walked into the room  
  
_Let's get this over with I guess._  
  
I walked into the room and saw the guy standing with his back to the door, impatiently fiddling with the curtains before turning around and looking at me. His face was irritated but when he looked into my eyes it was replaced with a friendly smile.  
  
_Merlin's beard he's perfect. Perfect eyes, perfect hair, Perfect Teeth._  
  
The air left the room and my heart stopped.  
  
"Hey! Sorry about the mean face mate. I've just been waiting in here for a while. I'm Sirius by the way." He smiled and held out his hand for me to shake it.  
  
_Oh god. I don't even want to think about where that's been._  
  
He noticed my discomfort and shot a look from his hand and then back to me.  
  
"Don't worry they're clean I just washed them." He chuckled.  
  
I smiled and shook his hand "i'm Remus."  
  
_Why am I so nervous? Oh crap! I just used my real name!_  
  
I stared at him for a really long time and I didn't notice that I was still holding his hand until he slowly pulled it away.  
  
"Oh yeah guess we should get started then." I chuckled nervously.  
  
"Is this your first time?" he asked.  
  
_Oh What did Marlene say?_  
  
"oh no, I've done a few photo shoots for Marlene and her girlfriend."  
  
He Smiled. He could tell I was lying through my teeth.  
  
_Why is my face so hot right now?_  
_Focus Lupin Focus! This is your art. You can't half ass it! Okay what's the story._  
  
I glanced around the room for any motivation at all and found a little bit as I stared at the door. It was better than nothing.  
  
"Okay, I do things a little differently whenever I direct a photoshoot." I informed him as I turned to look his way.  
  
He nodded intrigued.  
  
"So, you know, bare with me I guess."  
  
I glanced back at the door and stepped to the right then turned to look back at him.  
  
"Okay. Can you come over here and act like you just came in the door? Then like walk over to the bed like you're really pissed off."  
  
He Shrugged and walked to the door.  
  
_Okay it's been a long day at work he's really happy to be home._  
  
He sat heavily on the bed and sighed angrily has he took off his shirt and his boots and threw them on the floor.  
  
**Click**  
  
With his elbows resting on his knees, he was slouched over. He looked up at me for instructions, still in character.  
  
"Could you lay back on the bed like you're completely exhausted and just annoyed with the entire world?"  
  
He laughed a little, but followed my instructions. I grabbed a chair and placed it on the end of the bed and stood on it to get an aerial view.  
  
His hair spread out around his head beautifully, like a black halo, and he stared up at the camera rolling his eyes and sighing.  
  
**Click**

_At least he got to see her today. Got to talk to her. He was nowhere to be found._

**Click**

"Can you look up at me kind of sad and tired?"

He did.

_That jerk doesn't deserve her she's beautiful and deserves the world all he does is bring her pain. But I wouldn't. I would love her the way she deserves to be loved._

**Click**

_Holy fuck his eyes are gorgeous!_

I shook my head, bring myself back to reality.

_He wants her to be happy. Needs her. He loves her. He knows her! Longer and better than the other guy!_

_OK. Here comes the tricky part... That pun though..._

_She was wearing that low cut top today. She flirts with him like it's a sport... She wants it..._

_Wait! What!? No! That's creepy as hell! Come on Remus you can do better than that! That's just sick, and wrong, and... Wrong!!!!_

I was so lost in thought I didn't notice he was staring at me until he cleared his throat.

_Damn, this is hard!... Fucking puns._

_"_ Sorry. Um."

_Damn it Lupin think of something._

"What do you think about when you do this?" I asked staring down at him. I lowered the camera to see his face.

_If I can't make the story, maybe he can._

"Well. Um... I've actually never been asked that before." The let his hands fall on each side of his head, looking off to the side as he thought.

**Click**

He sat on the edge of the bed. He swung his legs in between the bed and my chair.

I hopped off and moved the chair out of the way. He looked at the door.

"A man. Tall handsome. He stands in the doorway." Sirius stared lost in thought at the door.

_Just like Lily's. A long lost lover, back at last._

_He stands, soaking wet from the rain outside. But he's smiling. Smiling happily he's back. He's home. Home with Sirius._

**Click**

I stepped so I was directly in front of Sirius.

"Look at the camera as if it's him."

Sirius smiled lovingly.

_Oh god I missed you._

"Is he close to you?" I zoomed in to get a good shot of his body head to toe.

"Yes. He's reaching out to me." His eye lids fell and with one hand he undid his trousers and slid the same hand down into his pants.

"How is he touching you?"

Sirius moved his free hand up his body, grazing his nipple, running it through his hair and finally resting on his cheek. His pinky teasing his lips.

**Click**

_I missed your body._

He moved his hand across his mouth and let his index finger slip into his mouth. His eyes look innocently and my camera.

**Click**

_My love._

I smirked behind the camera, becoming so engrossed in his fantasy, that I was part of it.

**Click**

I noticed the pace of Sirius's hand quicken as it pleasured his cock.

"Is that his hand?" I asked.

Sirius nodded not allowing his finger leave his mouth. I could see me suck gently on it.

**Click**

_I missed my dirty little pet._

Sirius whimpered as he let finger slide out of his mouth and down his body. He lifted his body slightly and pulled off his trousers, then his pants. His hands returned to their spots. His fully hard prick was in full view.

**Click**

_The man's breath hitches at the beautiful sight._

Mine did too...

Sirius stares into the camera. His pace quickening.

_I miss your skin, your smell. I never want to let you go again._

**Click**

I was so into the scene, I didn't notice how close he was until he came on his hand and the silky black hair that covered his crotch. I snapped a few pictures as he came, and then a few of him trying to caught his breath.

His hands lied on either side of his body, and held him up on the bed. Sweat covered his forehead forcing his hair to stick. His head pointed down, but he looked up at me with his half lidded eyes.

**Click**

I swallowed hard when I noticed he wasn't looking at the camera. He lifted his head, bit his lip, and gazed straight into my eyes.

"So. Um. I guess where done... You good?"

He puts his bottoms back on. He then propped a foot on the bed, holding it in place with clasped hands, the other foot on the floor.

He looked me up and down, still seeming rather breathless.

"It was good for me." He stated. "How was it for you."

_The air is gone. Once again, I'm flat lineing._

He shot me a cheeky smile.

I chuckled nervously.

"It was nice to meet you." I looked down at the camera and then at him.

His hazey eyes were scanning my body.

_Since when did I forget to breathe?!_

I nodded good bye and when to the nearest room where I could get the pictures on a stick drive. I browsed them on my laptop.

_Is he even a real person?! The lines of his body are more like fine brush strokes than a physical human's structure._

_I wonder if he'd let me photograph him again? Preferably clothed._

Once I downloaded them onto the drive, I deleted them from my camera and his them deep inside my computer. Just in case I needed some back ups.

_Reid Wolf. Not the best alias, but it's something._

I gave one of the secretaries the drive and backed up my stuff.

No.ow'd it go?" Marlene ran into me in the hall.

"I'm still kinda pissed at you but, it was actually kinda fun." I gave her a small smile as I threw my bag over my shoulder.

"I know you are. But thanks so much for helping!"

"Beats working on that project."

"Have decided what you're going to do yet?"

_No. I was too busy taking pictures of a man's leaking dick._

"Not yet." I answered, hold back my sass.

I glanced down the hall to see Sirius come out of the room. He was quietly talking on the phone but he still smiled at me.

"What about 'A Day in the Life of a Porn Star'?" She suggested.

"Yeah... No. Your the one porn star I know personally, and Dorcas and I can't use the same subject."

Marlene cocked her head and took on a judgmental stance.

"I'm serious." She said.

"No." I pointed behind her without leaving her gaze. "He's Sirius."

I heard him laugh but I didn't think it was because of me.

Marlene watched him for a minute. She then turned back to me.

"What about Sirius?" She whispered so he wouldn't hear her.

I shook my head wide eyed. I glance behind Marlene and saw that Sirius was walking towards us.

"What about Sirius?" He asked, smiling at Marlene.

"Are telling your attractive friend bad things about me Mar?" He placed a hand on her shoulder.

Attractive _friend? You cheeky bastard._

"I have no bad things to tell darling." She winked.

"All the dirt I have is already on the internet." She rolled her eyes.

He chuckled then looked over at me.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

I nodded at him.

"You see; I don't get along with most photographers and today..." He rubbed the back of he neck. "I had fun."

He closed is eyes in what looked like fear. "Would you wanna do one or two more shoots with me?" He opened one of his tightly closed eyes, afraid I would reject him.

_You do want to photograph him again. You'll make some extra money. Your identity is hidden... I had fun too._

"And maybe Sirius could help you with your project?" Marlene's voice brought me back to reality.

"Project?" Sirius asked.

"For school. Me and my mates have to do a presentation, well, we made ours a documentary. It has to be on something taboo. We picked sex." I explained.

"Meadows is doing a section on the BDSM and kink communities. I'm helping her."

"I'm sure you are." He laughed at Marlene.

"I said he should do the life of a pornstar. He said no because I'm the only one who knows personally. I suggested maybe asking you."

He nodded.

"I'd love too!" He paused  and looked as if he was thinking. "I'll help you, if, you do two or three more shoots with me. If we work together you'll get an up close and personal account." He smiled happily at his idea.

I thought it over for awhile. Apparently longer than Sirius liked.

"I can beg on my knees if you want. I'm told I'm very good on my knees."

_Oh god. That wink. That smile. I'm gone._

"OK, fine" I smiled.

He reached out his hand so we could shake on it.

I stared at it for a few seconds. 

_Now I know where that's been._

I pulled a tissue out of my bag and shook his hand, using it as a barrier. Marlene began to laugh hysterically. He gasped comically and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I do wash my hands damn it! I'm not a barbarian!" He protested.

"I know. Your just so fun to mess with."

He quriked an eyebrow at me. A smirk grew over his face.

Still holding my hand, he pulled me closer to him. I didn't notice the height difference until we were this close. He was about a head taller than me.

"Baby you don't know the half of it." His voice low and smooth like silk.

_What have I gotten myself into?..._


	2. The Fluffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L: Do you guys wanna go to the library later and work on that project?
> 
> D: Sure!
> 
> P: OK!
> 
> R: I can't. I've got a job today.
> 
> L: That's great! What for!?
> 
> R: An obscure underground magazine.
> 
> D: Congrats man! Have you picked your subject for the documentary?
> 
> R: The Life of a Porn Star.
> 
> L: Are you gonna follow Marlene?
> 
> R: No. She introduced me to one of her friends who said they'd do it.
> 
> P: Is she hot?
> 
> D: Peter!
> 
> L: Hahaha!
> 
> R: He...
> 
> P: Oh... Is HE hot?
> 
> R: LOL
> 
> L: XD
> 
> D: Damn it Peter!

_Maybe I should've just told them about the porno mag. Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, they already know that I'm gonna follow Sirius around. Then again, I don't think I'll have him demonstrate masterbation techniques in the documetery._

It had been two weeks since the last session we had. Sirius and I exchanged numbers and have been messaging back and forth. Most of them are him hitting on me because he's either very drunk, very tired, or both.

I identify as straight and always have. I'm not NOT open to having a male partner but it never really appealed to me. Then there's Sirius. To say that Sirius Black was charming would be a huge understatement. I felt it impossible not to smile when he was in the room. He's funny, caring, down to earth, and loves to make people happy and feel good about themselves.

Sirius

2:33 am

S: You're beautiful did you know that?

R: I do now.

S: Did one tell you that today or yesterday?!?!?!

R: Lol! No. 

S: Those filthy fuckers! I swear Remus Lupin! Everyday, from now on, I will remind You of your beauty! One to a million times a day, everyday!

R: XD. Thanks Sirius. You should probably go to bed now.

S: When was the last time someone told you were beautiful?

R: You did. Twice just now.

S: Before now you beautiful bastard!

R: Hahaha! I can't really remember.

S: Well you are so ha! Good night my beauty.

R: Good night Sirius.

I reread his texts fifty times over. I got the fuzzies in my stomach and couldn't stop smiling as I read.

_He's so nice... He's just being nice._

My smile fades.

_It's nothing more than that._

I walked in the building and got on the lift.

_You can do better this time. You're more prepared. You understand._

I pressed the button to the third floor and looked up to the left corner of the lift. A CV camera was hung on a metal pole pointed directly at my face.

_Somewhere in this building there's a room full of monitors of all the cameras in the building. Someone is sitting there, or someone should be sitting there, watching me, watching them, watching him..._

_Holy shit Lupin you're a genius!_

As soon as the lift stopped on my floor, I quickly walked to the front desk to get a key to the studio. Sirius had beat me there and swung the keys around his index finger.

He smiled at me. 

"Hey beautiful." He winked.

I smiled breathlessly. I stopped in front of him, catching my breath from trying to run with this heavy equipment.

"Hey. Are we in the bedroom again?"

He looked at me curiously.

"Do you want a different set?"

I nodded with a wide smile.

"I have an idea! It'll super cool if we can pull it off!" I was beaming with pride.

"Is there some kind of conference room we could use? like a small one?" I asked the girl behind the desk.

She smiled and handed me a key to the room.

I quickly made my way to the room. It had a small table in the middle and three office chairs around it. It looked more Like an interrogation room than a conference room.

_Perfect!_

 I arranged the table and the chairs. The table set in the middle of the room each chair on either side. The third chair I rolled over to the corner and stood on it with my camera. I looked through the viewfinder at Sirius who was leaning against the table staring at me confused.

"OK! This is perfect!"

"What exactly are you doing? You probably shouldn't stand on that chair." His brow furrowed very concerned as he walked over reaching out to help me off the chair.

I chuckled through my excitement.

"I'll be fine. I just need to get the right angle." I said, still standing on the chair.

He smiled at me

"You're really into it this time aren't you?" He stood in front of the chair looking up at me.

"I actually know what I'm doing this time. Now can you pace in front of the table for me?" I pulled my camera up to my face.

He chuckled before marching around the table.

"Be impatient."

**Click**

"You do know who you're talking to right?" He stopped and turned to me, an evil smile upon his face.

I laughed. "Just do it."

"Well, maybe I don't want to now." He crossed his arms and tried really hard to act like he was mad.

"Please?" I asked.

He smirked.

"It's so hot when you beg." He uncrossed his arms and started to pace in character.

_We have him now. After years of searching we finally have him. But how do we get him to crack? How do we get him to talk?_

**Click**

"Now pretend the person behind the camera is someone that you really hate. They've trapped you here and you can't get it out. They're watching your every move."

The anger in his face was overwhelmingly real. It was as if he had fire in his eyes. My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't tell if it was fear, or if I was simply awestruck.

He walked up in front of me very close to the chair and flipped off the camera.

**Click**

_Now he's just taunting us the bastard!_

**Click**

"If you want to talk to me why don't you come down and do it you fucking cowards?!" He spat.

I felt chills run down my spine.

**Click**

It was if he knew what I was thinking.

"You want to watch something? I'll give you something to watch!"

He stood up on the table and turned around to face me in the corner.

**Click**

He gave the camera a roguish smile as he un-did his trousers.

_What the fuck does he think he's doing?! He can't really be..._

**Click**

_Oh but he would, wouldn't he? The animalistic little prick!_

He pushed his pants down to his knees and pushed his crotch forward with his hard on in hand.

"Is this what you want assholes?!"

He spit on his hand an began to pump himself.

I couldn't even imagine how comfortable that felt. I kept shooting anyway.

He moaned as his thumb teased the head and spread precum over the top.

**Click**

_Why the fuck are we still watching this?!_

He moaned again. I tried to block out the noise because my knees shook a little and I felt the chair roll underneath of me.

**Click**

I looked through the viewfinder, then took a few pictures with the camera held at my stomach. That's when I noticed he wasn't looking at the camera anymore, he was looking at me. Right into my eyes.

**Click**

He came, hard and fast with the most erotic moan I've ever heard. I shot as his cum dripped off of the tip and his fingers onto the floor. 

**Click**

With an unexpected grace he, hopped off the table and awkwardly sauntered over to me. He coated his fingers evenly with his hot jizz. He smiled coyly at the camera as he stuck his middle finger in his mouth, licking it clean and flipping off the camera one last time.

**Click**

He spat at my feet. Not in a mean way, just staying in character.

I took a burst shot

_Oh wow... That's so fucking hot! Wait... What?!_

That's when I fell.

Luckily I had my camera around my neck and he was close enough to catch me. I felt his sticky hand touch my wrist as he quickly helped me down.

 _Shit shit shit!_ _Please tell me I got it!_

"Dude are you okay?" His voice contained genuine concern.

I shushed him as I tried to flip through my camera to see if I got the shot.

_Oh thank god. It's beautiful._

I jumped for joy.

"Look at it! Look at this, it's perfect!"

"Yeah that's nice and all but, are you okay?"

"Huh, what? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine." I dismissed his question with a wave.

He appeared kind of agitated but at the same time he seemed excited that I was happy.

After quickly flipping through all the pictures I looked over at my wrist and saw the substance left by Sirius's hand. 

_Aaaaaaannnnddd his pants are still down._

I looked down and laughed, not meaning to. I was just in shock.

"Hey what the fuck are you laughing at?" He looked down. "Oy! That's just rude. No laughing at little Sirius! That's rule number one dude!"

"Hardly little." I quirked an eyebrow.

_I just said that out loud. And pulled a flirty face... At his penis... What the hell is wrong with me?!_

I blushed and looked back at my camera. I could feel his eyes on me. I took a deep breath and turned around to face him.

" I'm sorry. It took me off guard. Also could you please make it stop staring at me?"

He laughed hysterically as he pulled up his pants.

I looked back at my wrist and instantly felt a knot twist in my stomach.

_oh no I'm going to be sick!_

Sirius went to one of the cabinets in the very back of the room that I hadn't noticed until now. He pulled out some paper towels and hand sanitizing.

"Damn. You guys think of everything." 

"You've got to in this business." He winked at me and I felt my face turn red.

 I turned in the photos and returned the key.

Sirius yawned loudly beside me.

"Aww. Is little Sirius tired?" I mocked.

"Yes he is! Starving as well. You hungry?"

"Yeah I could eat."

Sirius walked us down to a bakery around the corner.

"You know if you want, you have all of your stuff, we can film for the documentary." He suggested.

"Oh yeah, that sounds like a good idea!"

As soon as we got into the cafe I talked to a manager to ask if we could film. She nodded happily and said it was okay just as long as she was credited for the scenery.

_Rule number one, always get permission._

I set up my camcorder on a little tripod that I have.

"Take one. Interview, Sirius Black." I whispered into the microphone

"Do you think we're going to need more than one take?"

"It depends if you answer the questions correctly."

"That sounds a little bit biased and unfair." He stated.

I laughed.

"So how did you get started in this industry?"

"Aw the age-old question. Why did you start doing porn?" He propped his elbows on the table and fiddled with his fingers like a wise, old owl.

"Well everyone has their story really. It's either it was a career that you strived for, or you were kind of thrown into it. I was the second one. I didn't really have a purpose for starting. The fact that it pisses my family off is a plus."

"So you have family issues."

"Yeah that's a fucking understatement. Everyone except for maybe one or two of them hate me."

He didn't seemed bothered by the statement. He acted as if it was so 'matter of fact', that he found it odd that I didn't know.

"So what is your favorite thing about your job?" I asked.

"I think it's just a freedom. Porn is just so Unapologetic and it's something that everyone can find and relate to. Everyone talks about it like it's something gross and should be hated and rejected. But, in reality, it's just one of the many things that make us human; and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone gets horny and everyone has fantasies. Porn stars just bring them to life."

I beamed at the passion in his voice and his eyes.

"What was your first job like?"

"Awkward." He laughed at the memory. "The guy I was working with was really sweet."

"What was the name of your first film?"

He smiled and I could tell he was holding back a laugh.

"Daddy's Home."

I couldn't help but snicker.

"I love the names. It's one of my favorite bits."

"Is Sirius Black your real name."

He smiled proudly.

"Yep! Sirius Orion Black."

"Why use your real name?"

"The most ancient and noble house of Black, would be devastated if the public knew the heir was a filthy pervert." He pretended to be dramatically offended.

"You really hate your family huh?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"You would too if you saw how pompous they are."

"Wouldn't you fit in then?" I joked.

"I'm a nice pompous asshole. Their mean pompous assholes." He sipped his coffee.

_I need to keep in that shot some how. His eyes are beautiful._

"Do you excel or participate in any specific kink?"

"Exhibitionism. We all kind of get that away eventually." He shrugged.

"What is that exactly?"

"Exhibitionism is where you get off on people getting off, on your body or you... Getting off." He made a confused face while he was trying to think of a better word.

I laughed.

"Do you yourself practice any other kinks personally?"

"Uuuuummmmmm." He thought

"Public sex is kinda hot."

I cocked my head.

_When the audience is behind the camera I get, but, staring right at you?!_

"Like... Have you ever gotten a blowie, or given one, in a semi-public area?"

I shook my head, eyes widened in shock.

"There are so many emotions that go on during it." He scooted forward to explain in more detail, closer to the camera.

_Wow... He's so passionate about this._

"So, you've already got all of the hormones rushing through your body along with the reactions and responses of your partner. Now, there's a rush. What if we get caught? What if they can hear us? Then at a point, all of these emotions build up inside of you and you're just like 'Fuck it!'." His eyes lit up.

_Excitement from a memory perhaps... That does sound kind of fun..._

"You've never done that?"

I shook my head. 

"Well," he leaned closer to me. "There's an empty broom cupboard in the back." He winked then let his eyed look me up and down.

I couldn't help but laugh. I covered my mouth to quiet it.

His smile widened.

"OK, yeah. I'm gonna have to edit that out." I shook my head laughing.

_Really?!_

"Do you what you want. But, my offer still stands."

_My face is a fucking furnace_

I put lens cap back on the camera and put it on the table off to the side.

"Those are all of the questions I can think of off the bat. I'll make a formal list and interview you later."

"Tell me about you."

I shrugged. "There's not much to tell."

"Bullshit. You've got some sort of super natural picture powers! I've seen your work and I love it! How do you do it?"

I could feel my face get brighter.

"I magician never reveals his secrets." I responded shyly.

He leaned over the table to look me in the eyes. He was about to say something when my phone rang. I pulled out of my pocket and answered it.

"Hello?!... Hey Lily... Or right! The study session! I'll be over in a minute."

_How did I for_ _get that?!_

Sirius leaned back in his chair, almost disappointedly.

"Is Lily your girlfriend?"

"Huh? Oh! No, I don't have a girlfriend. I do have to go I'm afraid." 

He leaned back over the table and grabbed my hand.

"Good bye for now beautiful." His placed a light peck on my knuckle.

_Someone get me a crash cart! We're losing him!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the photo shoot for this chapter all I could think the whole time was...
> 
> Sirius: *Gets his cock out*
> 
> James: *In a suit watching the scene on huge monitors on some millatary base*  
> Jesus Christ! IT'S SIRIUS BLACK!
> 
> XD!!!!!!!
> 
> Also, side note. I will add definitions of several kinks and things of the sort, such as in this chapter. These are simply how I understand them from my personal research. If any of this information is incorrect, please tell me so I can change it. I want to represent these practices with complete accuracy. This is a learning experience for all of us :D!


	3. Self Portrait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S: I have nothing to do all day... SOOOOOOO BORED!!!
> 
> R: Oh dear. Mr. Popularity doesn't have plans?
> 
> S: A tragedy indeed!
> 
> R: *Rolls eyes*
> 
> S: You should come by my flat and hang out.
> 
> R: I don't know...
> 
> S: I have a dog.
> 
> R: Why do I feel like that's a euphemism for something.
> 
> S: It's not. He is a black fluffy doggo called Padfoot and he wants to meet you!
> 
> R: Does he now?
> 
> S: Yeah! So I was like, 'Do you want to meet this beautiful man?' And he was all like, 'Fuck yeah!"
> 
> R: I do like dogs...
> 
> S: I'll make you food.
> 
> R: You're really desperate aren't you?
> 
> R: OK, but it has to be Asian food.
> 
> S: Deal! Be over at 6!

_To Do_

_Lectures from 9am to noon -check_

_Math homework for tomorrow- check_

_Paper for psychology due next week- done but needs proof reading_

_Edit today in the library with the others- on my way_

_Diner with Sirius at 6._

I blocked out my day in my head as I made my way to the library. We decided to meet up today and edit the parts of the interviews that we have.

_Questions_

_What is dating like?_

_How often do you get tested for STDs?_

_What type of relationship is formed between you and your co-star?_

_I really should be writing these down._

In th library, Peter, Meadows, and Lily sat at three computers right next to each other. There was a fourth open for me and I sat down.

Looking down the line everyone was super busy. Peter was looking through a bunch of documents online, Dorcas was editing an interview with Marlene, and on Lily's screen a beautiful woman with long black braids and beautiful ebony skin sat in front of the camera. 

"Who's that?" I asked.

Lily jumped a little as she took her ear buds out and turned to me.

"Oh. Hey! You scared me. This is Annika. She's a friend of Marlene's and an active feminist." She smiled widely.

"I want to see the guy that you interviewed." She said, pointing at my monitor.

I pulled out the drive I put the interview on and plugged it in. I clicked on the thumbnail and the first frame was Sirius smiling at me.

"He's cute." Lily jostled me with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess. if you like men." I joked.

Lily and I watched the clip together. she seemed just as enthralled with his passion as I was.

"You've never done that?" Sirius's recording asked.

_Oh boy. Here we go._

"Well, there's an empty broom cupboard in the back."  
  
Lily gasped and covered her mouth to hide her laughter.  
  
"OK, yeah. I'm gonna have to edit that out."  
  
"Do you what you want. But, my offer still stands."  
  
Lily was wide eyed as she slapped my back. I looked back smiling and felt the blush on my cheeks.  
  
The shot went dark because I put the lens cap back on. I was just about to click off of the video when I realized; the audio was still recording.  
  
_Oh shit!_

"Those are all of the questions I can think of off the bat. I'll make a formal list and interview you later."  
  
"Tell me about you."  
  
I tried to sneak and exit out but Lily kept catching me.  
  
"What are we looking at?" Dorcas asked. She took out her headphones and walked over to us.  
  
"A magician never reveals his secrets." Responded my disembodied voice.  
  
I laid my head down on the table. I did everything I could to hide my embarrassment.

I heard my phone ring in the recording.  
  
"Hello?!... Hey Lily... Oh right! The study session! I'll be over in a minute."  
  
"Is Lily your girlfriend?"  
  
"Someone's jealous!" Dorcas sang.  
  
I looked behind her to see that Peter was watching too.  
  
_Kill me now._  
  
"Huh? Oh! No, I don't have a girlfriend. I do have to go I'm afraid."  
  
I could hear his smile.  
  
"Good bye for now beautiful." Nothing could be seen but you could hear the contact of lips on skin.  
  
"He kissed you!?" Lily spouted excitedly.  
  
Her and Dorcas stared at me with shocked smiles.  
  
"Just my hand."  
  
"I think he likes you." Lily smiled.  
  
"He's just being nice." I dismissed her comment with a wave.  
  
"I ship it." Peter chimed in.  
  
We all four laughed until it hurt and then went back to our studies.  
  
After editing what I had, I walked back to my dorm, took a shower, then drove my car to Sirius's place.

I kept reading the address he texted to make sure I was in the right place. It was a Sleek apartment complex in the middle of London. It looked really fancy. I went inside to see a man sitting behind a computer at a front desk.

"I'm here to visit Sirius Black." I told him.

The man look bored out of his mind as he pressed a button.

"You have a visitor Mr. Black. Should I send him up?"

I heard a loud crash over the speaker.

"Shit! My fucking toe! Oh uh, yeah! Thanks Carlos!"

He released the button an turned his glare back to me.

"442." He groaned.

"OK. Cheers mate." I awkwardly walked towards the lift.

All of the doors where a nice solid wood with silver numbers right above the peep hole.

I found Sirius's and knocked. I heard a loud bark come from what sounded to be very close to the door.

"Be nice to daddy's friend ok?" With that the barking stopped.

I heard the door unlock.

Sirius stood shirtless in the door way. He appeared to have just gotten out of the shower. Water droplets slowly fell down his bare chest. He smiled.

"I tried."

"Huh? What?"

_Shit! I was starring!_

"The Asian food. It didn't quite work out."

I then smelled the faint scent of something burnt.

"Is take away OK?" He asked waving me in.

"Yeah, that's cool." 

The apartment was small but still very spacious. The living room was openly attached to the kitchen and I could see doors leading to the bathroom and the master bedroom.

"This is really nice." I said as I followed him to the kitchen and put my open bag on the island in the middle.

"Thanks! I quite like it. It's a nice size for me and padfoot."

I leaned against the counter and a big, black, shaggy dog marched over and sat happily at my feet. He stared up at me with pretty brown eyes.

"Well hi there sweety!" I took on a high pitched 'baby' voice and scratched behind his ears.

"You're such a pretty boy aren't you?"

He closed is eyes and panted with doggy bliss. I heard a small laugh come from Sirius as he cleaned up his mess.

I blushed and leaned back up against the counter.

Padfoot marched away to another room.

 "Sorry. I really like dogs."

Sirius smiled.

"Ditto."

He walked to the phone mounted on the wall and ordered the take away.

"They said that'd be 45 minutes give or take."

"Cool!" I nodded.

He dried off his hands from cleaning the dishes. He turned to me.

"How was your day?" He smiled

"Ok. Yours?"

He shrugged.

He threw the towel he was useing on the drying rack. I saw him glance at my bag on the island.

"No way!" He walked over and looked in. He looked as if it took everything in him not to dig through it.

"I love Polaroids!"

I smiled.

"You can touch it if you like." I joked with an amused smile.

He gasped dramatically and carefully extracted the camera. "Oh sir! Thank you sir!"

He held it as if it was a priceless vase, running his fingers around the body of the camera.

 "My dad got that for me when I was 6." I pointed. "It was my first camera and my favorite."

I smiled softly and he smiled back.

"I like it more than my digital camera, but I can't use it as much because the film is so bloody expensive." I chuckled.

"Well," he responded. "With the pictures you take of me, you'll be able to afford to use it all of the time."

He leaned against the side of the Island that was facing me.

"Not only do you get your work immediately printed, it has a genuine look you can't get from crisp high resolution photos. Even with a a filter." I rambled on.

"Even watching it develop before your eyes is exc-"

"Wait!"

I pause.

_Did I do something wrong? I do talk much. Maybe I should shut up._

"Sit up on the counter."

I hopped on the counter.

"A little to left."

I scooted over.

"Perfect! Say cheese!"

**Click**

I laughed as the flash went off. The photo printed and he shook it as it developed.

He beamed at it and sat down the camera. Then he grabbed a black sharpie from one of the counter drawers. He scribbled something in the white margin and hung it up on the fridge I leaned forward to see what it said. In the picture I wore a smug smile. underneath in thin black letters it said 'Moony' and was decorated with a half moon. The Moonlight created a shining Halo behind my head.

"I rather like that name for you; Moony. It fits with your sir name too! Lupin means wolf right?"

I nodded.

"You really are beautiful." He mused.

_Here comes the fire._

"Do you like it?"

I shrugged.

"I don't really like pictures of myself." I said.

"If I looked like you, I would take all of the pictures."

I laughed.

_You do that now you gorgeous idiot._

"I really like working with you, you know? You're fun!" He picked up the camera again.

"And other photographers aren't?" I joshed.

He held up the camera and made a dumb face. His eyes looked around the room and be pretended to take pictures.

"OK, now get your cock out."

He went cross eyed and took on a 'Duhr' kind of tone.

I laughed.

"That bad huh?"

His face went back to normal.he nodded furiously.

There was a short silence. He  put camera up to his face to look through the viewfinder. He hunched over slightly and quickly walked towards me. He moved around ducking and crouching to get every angle while pretending to take pictures.

"Oh yeah! That's it! Give it to me Moony!"

I tried to keep a straight face.

"Now give me 'sexy'!"

I broke and laughed.

"Yeah! That's so fucking hot!" He praised.

I shook my head. "I'm not doing anything!"

He lowered the camera to look me in the eye has he stopped in front of me.

"Your smile. There's nothing hotter than a sexy smile!" He winked.

I shook my head.

I felt so comfortable around him and decided to play his little game.

_You want sexy? I can give you sexy._

I angled my head down slightly and looked up.

His smile faded to an awestruck gaze.

I bit my lip, lifted my head, and unbuttoned the top two buttons on my shirt. I leaned back to support myself with my hands behind me. My eyes slowly scanned his body.

**Click**

The flash disoriented me for a second and I shot back up straight on the counter.

_What the hell are you doing Lupin?!_

"That's a keeper." He sat down the picture and the camera.

Seeing the moment had passed, I started to button up my shirt when I felt a hand grab my wrist.

He stood close to me and flashed a roguish smile. He moved his hands to my knees and spread them apart so he stood in between them, pressed up against me.

Both of our lips were parted and I could feel his breath.

He leaned forward locking together our open mouths.

_He tastes like heaven..._

I attempted to copy his movements, letting him lead. I made sure to keep my tongue to myself, it's been awhile. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

He slipped his tongue into my mouth and I couldn't stop a small sound from escapeing me.

_Did I just squeak?! I squeaked into his mouth... Mother fucker!_

His hands slowly ran up and down my sides. His hands eventually made their way to the top of my jeans. He cupped my dick through the denim, bringing my attention to my growing erection. He kissed and nibbled at my neck. His hand caressed my bulge causing me to moan lowly.

"Wait." I said, despite my body shouting at me not to.

He leaned back until we were face to face again.

"I've never..."

His face took on a scared look.

"Are you... Are you a virgin?!"

"What? No! No! God no! I just uuhh... I've never..."

"With a guy." He finished.

I nodded shyly.

"I don't want to push you into something you don't want to do." He caressed me cheek and felt myself smile.

He looked down at my crotch and quirked an eyebrow.

"But I can't leave you like this," He firmly grabbed between my legs and I leaned into his touch. "That just wouldn't be right." He gazed deep into my eyes.

"May I?" He asked.

_Oh fuck yes! Please!_

My breath was caught in my throat and all a could do was nod.

He kissed me again and his tongue explored my mouth as his hands undid my belt and jeans sliding them to my feet swing off the counter. He rubbed my dick through the tthin material of my pants. I tangled my fingers in his damp hair.

_I shouldn't be enjoying this. I should be sickened right? This is so thrilling!_

He pulled down my pants slowly, not letting his mouth leave mine. When my pants were at my knees, he placed hot, wet kisses on my chin, down my jaw, and down my neck. 

I bit my lip to hold back a moan has his hand slowly pumped me.

I brought back when he kissed my clavicle and was heading towards my chest.

_Please don't._

Pushed slightly and he looked up at me, then at my chest.

_Those ruddy scars!_

I felt so embarrassed. He continued to kiss down my chest and trace each scar with his lips. I felt tears in my eyes.

_How could someone so heavenly touch me so sweetly? Can't he see I'm a mess?_

_Maybe he's not 'just being nice'. Maybe he really does think I'm beautiful..._

He looks up at me, his lips not leaving my skin. I brush his hair behind his ear smiling with a loving gaze.

I can feel him smirk against my skin.

He drops to his knees and  pulls my breifs the rest of the way off. He was tall enough that if he straightened his back he could look over the counter.

I scooted awkwardly to the edge so he could reach me better.

"Someone's eger." He growled looking up at me.

"Shut up." I blush quietly.

He chuckled.

He stared into my eyes as he run his tongue against the underneath of my cock.

_How could someone make such a dirty act look so elegant?_

My breath hitched as his tongue teased the slit. I grabbed a fist full of hair from the back of his head. His mouth wrapped warmly around the tip and I couldn't help but tilt my head back.

I shiver shot through my body as he moaned into my cock. He took me all the way down to the back of his throat.

I looked down has he bobbed his head up and down. I shivered when I noticed he had undone his own bottoms and was pleasuring himself

"Oh fuck..." I moaned.

He moved faster

I clenched my fist tight around his hair as I got closer.

I saw him staring at me, the same way he did when we met, the same way he did a few weeks ago at the shoot.

I came hard and fast, moaning obsencely loud. He swallowed every bit and moaned as he came in his hand.

He pulled away from me, a string of spit and cum connecting his lips to my prick. He smiled as he stood up in front of me.

He brought his middle finger to his mouth and licked it clean.

_You can read me like a book._

I pulled him in kissing him hungrily, touching ever bit of him I could.

Then the the speaker came on.

"Your food his here sir. Should I send it up?"

"Yeah, thanks Carlos." He pulled up his trousers and buttoned them with his clean hand. He ran to the sink a washed his hands.

I jumped off of the counter and quickly dressed.

There was a knock at the door and Padfoot ran in to bark at it.

"You see! This is why Carlos doesn't like you!" 

I chuckled.

Sirius grabbed the food from Carlos and sat it on the island next to my bag. We looked at each other in comfortable silence.

He sauntered his way over to me, his eyes scanning my body. He rested his hands on my hips and kissed me oh so softly.

The moment was short lived. Padfoot tried to shove his snout in between us.

"You cock block." Sirius laughed.

I laughed into his shoulder, taking in Sirius's scent.

_He's back, but he'll need to be on life support... Forever._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times!!!!
> 
> Sorry it took so long to post this one. I kept getting stuck.
> 
> I love your comments so feel free to leave them. They help with my stuck...ness


	4. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L: I got it guys!!! I got the internship with Google next summer!
> 
> R: Woot!
> 
> P: Yay Lils!
> 
> D: You go girl!!!
> 
> P: We should go out and celebrate! 
> 
> L: That sounds great!
> 
> D: Marls wanted me to ask if she could bring a friend.
> 
> L: Sure the more the marrier!!
> 
> R: I may also bring a +1
> 
> P: I'm bringing my imaginary friend Mr. Cheesy... That's not a question. Just a heads up.
> 
> D: Lol!
> 
> L: XD
> 
> R: *face palm*

_He can't help coming back to this place._

**Click** _._

_The place they met._

**Click**

_The place they fell._

**Click**

_Now she's gone. All's left is their 'Son'._

**Click**

_He sits on a bench and watches Padfoot trot around. So oblivious to her absence._

**Click**  
Pads ran up to me. I pet him and saw Sirius give me a sleepy smile. I walked over and sat next to him.  
I was flipping through the pictures and felt a weight on my shoulder.

_He's being friendly. Don't read too much into it._

"You OK?" I asked, turning slightly to look at Sirius's head on my shoulder.  
"Just tired. I didn't sleep well." He nuzzled his face into my neck.

_This is a friend thing._

Things between Sirius and I have been very normal. Like... Oddly normal. He fucking blew me and the next day we went about life like nothing happened.

I'm not upset about it really though. He's become a really good friend of mine over the past few months and I was afraid that night would ruin it. Then there's the other issue.

_No way I'm gay. I like women. The way they feel and act. Their soft skin and boobs. Vaginas get me hard every time... But... So does Sirius sometimes._

_That night was the hardest I've ever came in my life!_  
_He's probably just good at giving blow Jobs. I was the one getting my dick sucked. Of course I'm gonna get turned on; despite whose doing it. It's not like I was sucking him off and got hard right?! Right! Just two pals, having a time. Nothing weird about that. So not gay._

That thought was very comforting actually.

I chuckled and moved a little closer.

"Hey. Lily got an internship and Google for next summer." I told him.

"Cool."

"Yeah, she's really excited. We're going out to celebrate tonight..."

_How do I word this_

"I thought you wanna meet my friends... Because you're my friend and..."

He laughed.

"Of course. Sounds fun."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and turned slightly to bury his face further into my neck.

_Just friends._

I moved my arm out of his grasp, just to put it around him to make it more comfortable. He whined like he thought I was pushing him away, but with my arm around him, he snuggled closer.

His breath on my skin made me kinda sleepy. We sat in silence until he spoke a few minutes later.

"You smell good Moony."

"Thanks." I smiled.

Padfoot ran up to me and put his front paws on my knees. He leaned forward and sniffed at my shirt before resting his head in my lap.

"Pads thinks you smell good too."

I felt his head turn to look at Pads. I couldn't stop the dorky smile that occupied my face.

"Cuddly bunch aren't you two?" I joked.

I glanced up and saw two girls staring at us. They were whispering and giggling. Sirius moved his face back to it's spot. His face fitting like a puzzle piece into my neck. The girls awed. I blushed and looked at the ground.

"If I ever make you uncomfortable , you can tell me to stop." Sirius whispered

My heart warmed.

I turned and kissed his forehead and started to pet the back of his head.  
He laughed and I felt his smile on my skin.

"Way to make it gay Moony."

We both broke into laugh fits, still cuddled up to one another.

_We're friends. Really, really, close friends._

After leaving the park around one I went back to campus do go to the women and gender studies lecture I have with Peter. I walked in a little later than usual.

"Where have you been?" Peter asked

"The park. I helped take Padfoot for a walk."

Peter nodded.

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me.

"You've been spending a lot of time with that Sirius guy." He whispered.

I turned to him.

"We're friends."

Peter looked like he didn't buy it.

Professor McGonagall walked in and set up her computer at the front of the room. Her hair was in her signature tight bun and looked at the screen down through her thin librarian glasses as she set up today's power point.

Soon the projector showed the tittle, 'Human Sexuality and it's Social standing'.

I heard some groans come from the front of the room while I grabbed my note book, but they were quickly diminished by professor McGonagall's evil glare.

"Now this is important for all of you." She stated.

"Some of you may feel confused or even afraid of the emotions that may be brought on by your ever changing bodies. This will help you understand and clear up any misconceptions you may have about sexuality."  
  
The room was dead silent and an odd nervousness flew through the air.  
  
"We're in university. Shouldn't we already kinda know this shit?" Peter whispered to me.  
  
I shrugged not looking at him.  
  
"So. Who can tell me at least three different sexualities?" Her thick Scottish accent projected to the back of the room with ease.  
  
A blonde headed boy in the front raised his hand and was called on.  
  
"Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, and demisexual."  
  
"Thank you Adam." She smiled at him.  
  
In front of Peter and I sat a lanky dark headed boy. His name was sevirius Snape and he gave Peter and I quite a bit of trouble in highschool.  
The greasy haired twat raised his hand.  
  
"Asexual is like budding right?" He asked.  
  
A few people around him laughed.  
He was kinda a big shot when we were in secondary school, but here he's just like the rest of us.  
  
I felt a little bad when he shrunk down with embarrassment... Only a little.  
  
Adam spun around and smiled kindly.  
  
"With other animal spieces yes, but asexual humans do not experience sexual attraction."  
  
Severus straightened up slightly at Adam's kindness.  
  
"Thank you." Said the professor.  
  
"Today we will discuss the realization of one's sexual orientation. Now those who are of an alternative sexuality, or non-heterosexual, normally can find signs in their childhood that lead up to the 'Ah ha' moment."  
  
I was half listening as I racked my brain for clues.  
  
_OK. So. Everyone thinks girls are gross when they're little right? Yeah that's normal. Ok, the dirty magazine Peter stole from his dad when we were twelve making us feel 'funny'. Those were women. Popping a boner to a picture of Doctor Frankenfurter when I was 14... I'm uh... I'm not gonna count that..._  
  
"Now this time in your life is the most common time for experimentation. The age range of secondary school students to university students and early adulthood." She wrote on the board.  
  
"Like test tubes and stuff?" Peter whispered to me.  
  
I shook myself from my thoughts. I turned to him, confused for a second.  
  
"Oh. Yes. Of course." I chuckled back.

 _Experiment?_  
  
After lecture I looked at my phone  
  
                         Sirius  
  
S: Hey!  
  
"Who is it?" Peter asked.  
  
"Sirius." I typed out my reply and could hear Peter roll his eyes.  
  
R: What's up?  
  
S: You should come over. 

R: should I?

S: Yes. Unless you have another class.

R: I don't but I have a lot of work to do.

S: Bring it here and I can help! After that we can go to the dinner thing.

I watched the three dots moves as he typed more.  
  
S: Pads misses you.  
  
The dots moved for a split second and a picture popped up.  
  
He was holding the camera so you could only see the lower part of his face and his shirtless body. He was wearing a pair of tight galaxy cat boxer briefs, not leaving much to the imagination.  
  
_Bloody show off_  
  
In the center of the photo, however, Padfoot stared into the camera with sad puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Aw." I stopped myself before I held it out too long.  
  
"What?" Peter quickly peaked over my shoulder before I could scroll away.  
  
"Merlin's beard! Why doesn't he just send a dick pic like normal people?!" Peter shook his head.  
  
"Fucking tease."  
  
I laughed.  
  
"No one asked you to look."  
  
"Yeah, well. You may not like him but he sure as hell likes you."  
  
_Do you really think so?_  
  
"No. He's just like that. I'm just in it for the dog."  
  
Peter looked over my shoulder again.  
  
"That is a pretty cute dog."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"I gotta head out. I can't say no to that puppy dog face." I smiled looking back at the picture.  
  
The outline of his cock was so obvious, it was impossible to miss. The sun that shined through the window casted a defining shadow on his ads.  
  
_So smooth, so soft. I wonder what they taste like..._  
  
I didn't realize I was biting my lip at the idea. Peter snapped his fingers in my face.  
  
"Hey! Straighter McStraightington!"  
  
"Huh?! What?!" I looked at him wide eyed.  
  
"I really hope you weren't thinking about the dog that time." He cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"I uh... I should probably go now." I pocketed my phone and awkwardly walked away.  
  
"Uses protection!" Peter shouted. "God knows where that hole has been!"  
  
I turned around and continued to walk backwards.  
  
"So does the internet!"  
  
I turned around a made my way to my car.  
  
I went through the motions with Carlos. I sat sideways and spread my work in front of me on the couch once in the flat.  
  
"What class is this for?" Sirius asked. He sat in front of me, being careful not to mess up my papers.  
  
"Women at gender studies. We have to know memorize this huge ass list of sexual and romantic preferences." I stared at the list of names and definitions.  
  
He slipped it away from me.  
  
"Homosexual, Homoromatic. It makes me sound like I'm my own species." He smiled.

"You are your own species."   
  
I wonder...  
  
"Today we talked about how those of alternative sexualities can find clues from childhood that led to their uh... 'Ah ha' moment."  
  
Sirius looked up in thought.  
  
"I can see that."  
  
"What was your moment?"  
  
"Well it wasn't 'Ah ha' so much as it was 'Well shit'.  
  
"Why's that?" I asked.  
  
He sighed and gave me a sad little smile that broke my heart a bit.  
  
"In my family... You don't do that shit. Very old fashioned. Proud royalty basically. I was constantly in trouble for just existing and..." He dropped his head.  
  
"I was... Punished a lot. When it was just me, I wanted to get away but when Reg was born... I had to stay and protect him..."  
  
I put my hand over his and rubbed it with my thumb.  
  
I saw a shy smile on his face as he watched my hand.  
  
"I realized I wasn't straight when I was 16. My cousin Andy dated a lot of guys and when my uncle came over, her and her new boyfriend would come over. She had one that was really cool and super nice! I couldn't help but smiled when I looked at him." He chuckled.  
  
"I didn't wank a lot, but, I thought about him and came so hard the room started spinning." He looked up at me, laughing, but I could see streaks on his face from tears.  
  
I smiled.  
  
"They disowned me when I came out and my best mates parents essentially adopted me. My parents were always easy on Regulus but I was still worried. When I left I told him if they ever tried to hurt him to scream as loud as he could. The cops got called once and they never tried to hurt him again thank god... We still keep in touch."  
  
I held his hand tighter.  
  
"Sorry." He wiped his eyes. "I'm done with my pity party."

"No." I leaned closer to him,not letting go of his hand. "Don't be sorry."  
  
I wasn't quite sure what to say. His smile said enough.  
  
He blew out air and shook his head.  
  
"So! What else did you talk about?" He sniffed.  
  
I smiled.  
  
This is the first time I've seen you cry... I never want to see sad tears in those beautiful gray eyes ever again.  
  
"Apparently, now is the most common time for sexual experimentation." I cocked an eye brow and smirked.  
  
He laughed.  
  
"I never did any of... Well?"  
  
He laughed harder.  
  
"That was more practice than experimenting."  
  
"Practice?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Me and my best mate James would practice snogging each other." He laughed louder.  
  
"We would jot down notes on paper and discuss it with one another."  
  
I shook my head laughing to hard.  
  
"Yeah... No!"  
  
"You never did that?" Sirius asked.  
  
"No... I don't date too often and my only mate when I was 16 was Peter and he had a girlfriend every other week so he really didn't need practice."  
  
Sirius gave me his infamous roguish smile.  
  
"You were a dork weren't you?"  
  
With my index finger and thumb I mimed 'a little'.  
  
I pulled up an old picture of me from highschool on my mom's Facebook. It was of Peter and I at football match between England and Ireland a few years ago.

Sirius took my phone and looked at the picture.

"Awwww! You're cute!"

I felt a blush coming on as I smiled like an idiot.

"16 year old me would practice snogging with him any day!" He handed me back my phone.

"Any more practice and Cupid would be jealous of your talent." I still felt the blush on my face as I turned my attention back to my papers.

 He cocked his head and smirked at me.

"You think I'm a hot snog Moony?"

I smiled at him.

He smiled back, licked his lips and started to learn forward to kiss me. I panicked and Hel's up my text book. He let out a sad groan as I felt his head push against the cover. When I lowered the book his lips were still pouting. He slowly opened his eyes and glanced sadly at me. I smiled and gave out an amused sigh.

"I really have to get this done before dinner tonight." I smiled softly.

"Just a friendly one." He proposed.

_Wanker._

"Just a little kiss for your good mate." He turned his head and pointed to his cheek. "Come on love. Just a little, itty, bitty, peck right here." I could hear the amusement in his voice.

_Why does he always act like this. We've decided that were just friends. Can he see the way he makes my squirm? Or, maybe Peter's right... Does Sirius have a crush on me? This can't be a normal friend thing to do. This is straight up flirting... I think... It's been awhile... Maybe now a days it's normal to blow your best mate?_

"Sirius... I like you... As a friend."

_This HAS to stop._

He nodded almost disappointedly.

"I like you as a friend too." He said.

He sighed as if his was disappointed at himself.

I reached out and grabbed his hand.

We smiled awkwardly at one another and sat in silence.

Around 6 o'clock, Sirius and I hopped on his bike to head to the restaurant.

I'd never been on a bike before and was really scared.

"I've been riding since I was 16." Sirius assured.

"Just hold on to me and you'll be fine."

I did as he said, closing my eyes tight and burring my face into his leather jacket. I could feel him chuckle at me.

"Fucking twat." I murmured.

He laughed harder as he started the bike.

We walked into the restaurant and saw Peter, Lily, and Dorcas sitting at a long table. They smiled and waved us over.

The restaurant wasn't really fancy, but it was still very nice.

"You know Dorcas." I said to Sirius. "This is Lily and Peter." 

They both waved.

"Nice to meet you." He reached across the table to shake Peter's hand.

Lily's green eyes sparkled beautifully and she smiled. Sirius gently held the red head's hand and kissed it softly.

"Sirius." he greeted, winking at her.

She rolled her eyes but nothing could hide that blush.

_Does he just have that affect on everyone?_

"That name sounds familiar." Peter squinted as he thought.

"Your surname wouldn't happen to be Black would it?"

Sirius nodded. "Sadly, but I don't associate myself with them anymore. I would rather not talk about it if you don't mind."

Peter began to apologize profusely.

_Holy shit! The most ancient and noble house of Black!? How did I miss that! He does look very aristocratic... Doesn't really act it though._

Sirius laughed "It's fine." he dismissed.

Sirius changed the topic to Lily's internship. She beamed, happily telling him all of the details of her summer plans.

A few minutes later, Marlene arrived with her friend.

"Sorry we're late. Got hung up at work." She said kissing Dorcas on the head before sitting down next to her. Her friend sat down next to her and in front of Sirius.

"I was wondering who would get to use the new sex swing first." Sirius laughed.

Marlene kicked him at a weird angle. She looked to the dirty blond pretty boy beside her.

"Oh! Guys this is Michael. Michael this is Dorcas, Lily, Peter Remus and-"

"Hi Sirius." Michael interupted.

Sirius waved as he downed his current class of wine.

"You know each other?" Marlene asked.

"We worked together for a while." Sirius answered.

Immediately after Michael responded, almost interupting Sirius.

"We dated for three years."

The table went silent. I felt anger build up and burn in my stomach.

_Funny... He never talks about you._

I tried to refrain from glaring at his stupidly pretty face. I shook my head softly and stared at the table.

_Get a hold of yourself Lupin! You're acting like a jealous girlfriend!_

Sirius waved for the waiter and ordered another glass of wine.

"So, Peter. What do you study?" Sirius asked.

Peter immediately caught the hint and started rambling on about businessy stuff.

The whole time I watched Michael out of the corner of my eye. He would lick and bite his lip, trying to get Sirius's attention but Sirius ignored him like he didn't even exsist.

I still couldn't help the feeling of wanting to punch his handsome jaw!

_Back off bitch... Damn! Why am I like this!_

I tried to ignore him but I couldn't. He was right there. Checking out Sirius.

_My Sirius... I mean like friend. My FRIEND Sirius...Fuck it!_

I had to get out of there and Sirius had to come with me. I was not letting that wanker look at him like that!

_You fucked up! He's moved on!_

I felt around, trying to find inspiration for a believable excuse.

_My wallet!_

I felt it in my pocket but slowly moved it to my jacket so no one could see it when I stood up.

"Hey Sirius?" I started. "I left my wallet in the storage thingy on your bike. Can you come help me unlock it?"

He looked at me confused for a moment then stood up from his chair.

"It can be a little tricky." He said.

"Be back in a sec." I smiled at everyone as I got up to follow Sirius.

There was a narrow hallway that lead to the back exit closer to where the back was. We walked very slowly. I noticed a coat room that was opened slightly. You could fit, three to for people in it.

My heart was racing as we neared it.

_I can't believe I'm doing this..._

I quickly scanned the hallway for cameras. None.

"You know moony? Normal people wait until after dinner to forget their wallet." He laughed.

He walked slightly faster than I did but I was able to reach out and grab his wrist before he got to the exit. I dragged him into the coat room and quickly shut the door behind me. I pushed him up against the back wall, moving coats out if the way, the hangers scraping the metal bar.

I kissed him hard. I ran my fingers through the back of his hair and pushed our faces and bodies closer together. He pushed me away to look me in the eyes. His lips were parted, red, and swollen from my kisses.

_Give'em back!_

He leaned forward and gently pulled me back into him.

His kiss was slow and sweet at first but later became more desperate when I pushed him back against the wall and kneeded at his shirt.

"What happened to just friends?" He asked between kisses.

"I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand that arse hole starring at you like that."

"Remind me to get you jealous more often Moony." 

I kissed his smile and plunged my toungue into his mouth. I felt his knees give and caught him against the wall, pinning him by his wrists.

"Fuck me." I growled into his mouth. He moaned as I kissed him again.

I nipped and sucked at his neck as I made my way to his ear.

"I want the whole restaurant to hear us. I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk straight." I kissed down his jaw and back to his mouth.

"I want him to smell it on us."

our lips barely touched before he but a hand in between us.

"Wait..." He didn't open his eyes, like it physically hurt to stop me.

He finally opened his eyes.

"I want nothing more than to fuck you through that wall-"

"Then what's stopping you." I push against him gently. My need was over shadowing common sense.

He didn't bush but kept his hand on my chest.

"I like you. Remember?"

My heart broke.

"As a friend." I hung my head and started to back away when he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled our bodies together.

"I may have lied about that bit." He smiled.

My heart warmed.

"Wouldn't you want it to be... I don't know... More romantic and less.. Painful." His eyebrows furrowed.

He laughed a little.

"I guess you're right."

I looked down at the ground in between us. Looking down his body I noticed how hard he was. How hard we both were.

I looked up with my eyes, not moving my head. A smooth smile grew on my face.

"But I can't leave you like this." I cupped his hard on through his jeans and raised my head to look him straight on. "That just won't be right." I pouted and tightened my grip slightly.

He moaned bitting his lip.

"May I?" I smiled into his lips.

"Be my guest." He smiled and pulled my into a slow, erotic kiss.

I fiddled with his belt, eventually unbuckling it. I undid his jeans then dropped them and his boxers to the floor. I dropped to my knees and was faced with the most beautiful sight.

It was thick, but not in a gross way. It almost stood straight up and the skin looked so soft and warm. I was reminded of the thoughts I had while looking at the picture from earlier.

_I wonder what it tastes like... Wait... I don't know what I'm doing!_

I didn't even think about my lack of experience until just now.

_Ok Lupin. Recap. You're down on your knees in front of an unbelievably gorgeous man. His massive cock Is making your mouth water and all you want is to taste it. Oh but here's the kicker! You don't know what the fuck to do next!!!_

I looked up at the his dilalated eyes and wrap my hand around his shaft. He moans and wraps his fingers in my hair.

_So far so good... Maybe just mirror what his did to you?_

I ran the flat of my tongue over the slit and sucked the tip into my mouth. I felt my eyes roll back as I moaned.

"You taste so fucking good." I said releasing the head. I pumped him slowly with my hand and licked up the side. 

He bit off a moan, trying not to be too loud.

I guided him into my mouth and hollowed my cheeks. I took him to almost the back of my throat and choked a little.

_Please don't throw up! Please don't throw up!_

I looked up into Sirius's concerned eyes but felt his cock twitch when I made the choking noise.

I smiled internally.

_You kinky bitch!_

I bobbed my head, taking him in as deep as I could. My prick twitched with every delious noise Sirius made.

_Oh god! I'm so fucking hard!_

I quickly undid my jeans and freed my leaking cock. I pumped myself in time his my head bobs.

We came at the same time. Sirius's jizz shot straight to the back of my throat.

I wanted so badly to spit it out.

It's not that it tasted bad, I just didn't wanna die choking on cum.

I swallowed anyway so no one would have to clean it up later.

Sirius took in heavy breaths as he supported himself with the wall. He pulled me up and kissed me hard.

When we broke I saw that my hand was covered in cum. 

_How am I gonna get to the loo with getting caught?!_

Has i was spit balling ideas in my head, Sirius guided my hand to his mouth. Licked at sucked my whole hand clean never breaking eye contact with me.

I felt my wide eyes and open mouth as I took in the amazing sight.

When he was done, he kissed my palm and smiled.

"Fuck." Is all I could bring myself to say.

He leaned forward and laughed into my shoulder.

He took a deep breath and pulled back to look me in the eye.

"We've been gone for a while. Let's get your wallet and head back."

"Oh... About that." I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet.

I proud smile grew on his face.

"You little minx!" 

We laughed and snuck our way to the restrooms. After fixing our hair And all that fun stuff, we made our way back to the table.

"What took so long?" Dorcas asked.

"Damn thing never opens when you want it to." Sirius shook his head as we sat down.

Everyone went about their conversations, except Michael. His flirty smile from earlier was now replaced by a questioning look. I watched him in my pariferals as his eyes slowly moved from me to Sirius.

_That's right mother fucker... Eat your heart out._

Sirius turned to look at me with a smile. I could feel the angry heat coming from across the table as he was piecing together the situation.

I poked my finger in some of my food and sucked it off quietly while staring at Sirius who bit his lip and winked at me. I couldn't help but laugh a little at Michael's shocked and angry face.

 After dinner well a sat around the table and talked for about 30 minitues or so.

"I'm gonna wait by the bike." Sirius told me before slipping away.

Soon after Sirius left, Michael followed him out.

_What do you think you're doing?!_

I said goodbye to everyone and snuck to the back where Sirius was.

I poked my head around the corner. Enough to see but not be seen.

Michael stood in front of Sirius. His arms crossed over his chest and he tapped his foot.

 "You know if you want me to get jealous, you're going to have to do better than some dorky little twink." Michael said.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah... I'm not trying to make you jealous. Don't flatter yourself." He refused to make eye contact with his ex.

"Awww! Are you mentoring the little straight boy? How pathetic. What's the deal? He gets to experiment and you get your cock sucked?"

"Have you ever thought that I may actually like him?" Sirius spat bitterly.

Michael let out an evil laugh.

"You mean like a 'relationship'? The only things you think about are fucking and nice ways to say, 'You should go now.'"

Sirius's eyes looked furious but he didn't say a thing.

"'I don't do love.' You said that... How can you even care about anyone." Michael dropped his arms and marched off.

Sirius looked so hurt and sad.

I walked up to him and acted like I hadn't seen what just happened.

"OK! I'm..." I put my hand on his shoulder and ducked my head to look at his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Just uh... Dumb shit. Can you maybe stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone." His voice was sad.

"How could I say no to that face." I whispered so only he could hear me and he smiled.

Back at the flat Sirius and I sat in his bed and watched telly. As soon as we got there he pull all sorts of alcohol and was on his 5th beer. This was my second.

"I hate that fucking twat." He said sipping his beer.

"Don't say that! I love Sue Perkins! She's my favorite bake off host!"

I mentally celebrated as I made him laugh.

"Michael. God I hate him."

I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. After a minute or so of silence he turned and spoke to me.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

I looked at him slightly shocked.

"Um... I don't know if that's a good idea..." I rubbed his back.

"Sorry... I just... Kissing you always makes me feel better."

_... Really?_

I couldn't hide my smile.

"I would but you've been drinking and It wouldn't feel right."

"I'm not drunk." He popped his head up.

"I can prove it!" His energy shot up like a kid on candy. "Ask me anything!"

I thought for a moment.

"Spell your surname backwards."

He sat up straight.

"K-C... Fuck! How do you spell it forwards!!! Damn it Moony why you gotta put me on the spot?!"

I laughed as I held his face in my hands and kissed him. When we broke away I kept my forehead against his and my eyes closed.

I leaned back slightly and he fell to my shoulder

"Sirius... I think I..." 

I was interrupted by a loud snoring noise.

I sighed and pet the sleepy Sirius in my arms.

Probably for the best.

_'I don't do love' that's what you said._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I kept thing of more things to add and then was like, 'Break it into two chapters?' I didn't do that.
> 
> Hope you enjoy darlings!


	5. What the Hell Are We Doing?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the update took so long.
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!

_Have you seen any of his work? He's quite good. I'm surprise he hasn't made you watch all of his films. He's a self centered twat you know?_

Michael's words from this morning swum in my head as I edited and did work in Lily's flat.

I had gotten coffee at the shop near campus.

"Hey! Remus right?"

An annoyingly familiar voice said.

I looked up to see that Michael guy, waving and smiling stupidly.

I gave my best fake smile.

"Hey! Michael."

"Sorry we never really got to talk last night." He propped himself up on his elbows and leaned over the table I was standing at.

"It's fine." I smiled

_There was a reason for that... I hate you._

"So... How do you know Sirius?" He asked.

_Oh boy. Here we go._

"Through Marlene. He's helping me with a project."

"So you two aren't..."

_Fucking? Oh no! We are! Often and loudly!_

"Yeah, no. We're friends. You Know. Really close."

I wanted to delve deeper into the explanation of our relationship. I wanted to say, boyfriends, lovers, fuck buddies... Anything. I'm not quite sure what we are, or how Sirius would react. I just tried to give him as much of a 'fuck off' vibe as I could.

"Cool! 'Cause, uh. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out and get to know each other a little." He slowly layed his hand on my wrist.

I felt my eyes widen as I looked at it.

_Oh wow! Just... Just wow! Oh god look at him. That smug look. I bet he thinks he can just bat his eyelashes and I'll drop to my knees and suck him off in front of god and everybody! News flash mate; you're not even hot!_

I moved his hand from my wrist. Holding like it was a dirty nappy.

"No thanks mate." I didn't even try to let him down easy. "Also, I'm not gay."

He scoffed.

"Don't even pretend you didn't blow Sirius last night." He whispered to me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I kept my cool.

"Have you seen any of his work? He's quite good you know. Maybe you should check it out." His face was angry but his still winked at me.

"Look here bud-" I was cut off be the barista.

"Ramis?"

_How the hell do you mess that up?!_

I threw my jacket over my arm at made my way to the counter. I had to walk away before I said something I couldn't take back... I'm really good at that.

I grabbed my coffee and headed for the door.

"Just look him up!" Michael said as I passed him.

"See what he really does for a living."

Now I'm here. I sat in Lily's living room and stared at my laptop. I paused it where Sirius was talking about how liberated and free his job made him feel.

His gray eyes beautiful and bright. That smile that melts my heart every time.

_What he really does for a living._

I plugged my ear buds into my laptop as not to disturb Peter and Dorcas who were sitting on the floor in front of the couch I was on.

_Sirius Black_

I typed into the incognito window I pulled up.

A lot of images, some that I had taken, popped up. Mostly solo work. The first video that popped up however was from Porn Hub titled 'Sirius Black Loves Big Cock'.

 _The creativity with some of these titles are amazing..._ I groaned to myself.

 I clicked on the video, exited out of the pop up and hit play.

"So. Is this your first time doing porn?" The camera guy asked.

_Oh boy. One of these._

I've never really liked porn, even when I wank. My imagination is almost always more exciting. I also think this was the first time I watched gay porn.

"No, I've done a few films." Sirius sat cross legged on a nice leather couch. He wore a black wife beater with torn skinny jeans and black converse. I couldn't help but smile.

_How does he manage to always look so cute?_

"How do you feel about your costar Michael?"

I froze.

Lily walked in from the kitchen and looked over my shoulder.

"What cha doing?" She asked smiling.

I pulled out my ear buds and jumped in surprise.

"Oh! Uh... Research." I said.

"Yeah, sure. Not looking at porn at all." Lily smirked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sweet little Remus?!" Dorcas jumped up and sat next to me on the couch.

"No way!" Peter said following her. He unplugged my ear buds from my laptop.

"Guys! It's for the thing!"

"Gay porn?! Feeling curious are we?" Peter smirked.

"Let's have a look see." Lily tapped the play button.

Michael walked on screen and sat next to Sirius.

"What do you think?" Asked the camera man.

Sirius bit his lip and looked Michael up and down. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"He's cute." Sirius smiled.

"Why don't you two flirt a little."

Michael looked at the camera.

"Like cheesy pick up lines?!" He smiled.

He threw his arm around Sirius and cleared his throat.

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again?" His tone smooth and low.

I tried so hard not to sneer at the screen.

'Oooooooo's came from not only Sirius and the camera guy but my friends around me as well.

"Cute." Sirius smirked. "But, I don't do love." He said.

_That's what he was talking about? A stupid line? A line in a porno that probably didn't mean anything? That petty little fuck!_

"That sounds like a challenge love." Michael slowly grabbed Sirius's chin with his thumb and forefinger. He stared deep into Sirius's eyes

"What? Are you gonna try and make me fall for you?" Sirius teased, his breathy voice breezing across Michael's mouth.

_That son of a bitch... Damn it dick! Now is not the time to get turned on!_

"No try about it." He capture Sirius's mouth with his own, holding him close and lovingly.

My friends watched silently and unmoving.

I was silently fighting off a panic attack. My blood was boiling.

I didn't want click away. What if they thought I was homophobic?! What if they put two and two together and find out about Sirius and I?!

I watched in an internal panic as the two men kissed slow and erotic.

Michael was laying on top of Sirius. They broke slowly and he caressed his face.

"Do you love me yet?" He smiled.

Sirius bit his lip. Sirius managed to push Michael back and pin him. He quickly undid Michael's trousers and slid his hand down his pants to stroke his dick.

"I love your thick cock."

I slammed my laptop shut.

_You dumb ass! You fucking dumb ass! You can't do this! This is what he meant. 'What he really does for a living.' Fucks and gets fucked. The whole internet would see him with these guys and with not you! You're just a scared confused little virgin! Well not a 'virgin' virgin but inexperienced none the less. You have nothing to offer! Nothing to use to keep him, convince him to stay! He's a bloody expert! You're just a mangled body riddled with ugly, unsightly scars, that can't even give a descent blowie!_

I didn't realize how long I had been quiet until Lily interrupted my well earned pity party.

"Rem? You OK love?"

I looked at her.

"Oh! Yeah! Fine. Just... I mean... Who would wanna watch... A... A couple of... Uh."

Dorcas glared at me.

"Choose your next words very wisely Remus."

_Oh god!_

"I... Uh... I have to go." I quickly gathered my stuff and ran for the door, before anyone could try and stop me.

_I have to end this. I have to end this now._

Sirius

R: Hey.

Three dots appeared.

S: Hey beautiful ;).

I felt the tears.

R: Can you meet me at the coffee shop by campus?

S:... Sure. Is everything OK?

R: See you there.

I sat at a table and waited, a very much needed chamomile tea in hand. My nerves were shot.

_What do I say? How do I saw it? I don't... I don't... I just don't!_

The bell above the door chimed and in he came.

He looked very worried.

"'Ello love." He sat across from me and grabbed my hands. "What's the matter?" His brow was furrowed and his eyes were soft.

I slowly slipped my hands away from his comforting touch.

"I... Wanted to talk to you." I could look him in the eye. 

"I'm not sure what we are to each other. But I don't know how to say this..."

His beautiful gray eyes grew shiny with tears.

"I think we should bre-"

"No." He interrupted.

I was shocked. He blinked and tears streaked his face.

"No. You can't do that." He said quietly to try and keep the quiver out of his voice.

I scoffed.

"You wanna break up with me then? Save your precious ego!" I whispered loudly.

"No... I... Why?"

I sighed. "Sirius. You sleep with other men for a living..."

"So! That was years ago. I've done nothing but solo work since! They mean nothing!"

He leaned over the table and grabbed my hands, pulling them up to his face and kissing my knuckles. I could feel his tears hit my hands.

"Remus... These past few months have been the happiest of my whole miserable life. All the guys I meet are fake arse holes but not you. You're nice, sweet, funny, caring, and when you have your nose buried in a book, and look up at me just with your golden eyes I melt so fast." He kept my hand close to his face and stared at the table.

"Very few things go right in my life. You're one of the ones that did. Please don't take that away from me..." He sobbed quietly.

I stared in awe holding back tears of my own. Even though we tried to stay quiet, some people were staring. Surprisingly, I didn't care.

_Here we are. Here you are. This gorgeous man begging me to stay. Why? Why are you trying so hard? You could have anyone you want. I'm nothing special. I'm no hunk. What on earth is going through your head Sirius? Why do I mean so much to you?_


	6. A Man and His Filthies Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S: What do you mean you can't make it today?! Fraaaaaaaannnnnnkkkk!!!!!
> 
> F: I'm really sorry. Alice is sick.
> 
> S: Fine! You're lucky I like you.
> 
> F: I'm sure they'll find you a camera man for today though.
> 
> S:*Groan* He better not be an old pervert. Tell Al I hope she gets better OK? And take good care of her!
> 
> F: Will do. Later Siri

I sat impatiently in the front office with Sarah. I put down my phone after texting Flaky Frank ,as I will now call him, and impatiently tapped my foot.  
  
"What's wrong darling?" Sarah piped up.

"Frank couldn't make it today an I need a camera guy." I pouted.

She smiled and began to type something on the computer.

"Lucius is available." She suggested.

I scoffed. "A fucking tripod could do better than that idiot."

She couldn't hold back a snicker.

_Merlin I'm hilarious!_

"What are you going on about?" A voice came in from the hall.

Marlene walked in wearing sweat pants and an old band tee. She hasn't gotten to make up yet and looked as if she just woke up.

_The cameras never see us get fucked looking like this. I wonder why? I guess porn really isn't supposed to be believable._

"I don't have a camera guy, and a tripod would do a better job than Lucius."

Marlene laughed. "He's not wrong." She said to Sarah.

 "Wait!" Marlene perked up. "You need a camera guy?!"

"Duh!" I said.

_Where is she going with this?!_

"I will be right back! Just go wait in the studio!" She pulled out her phone and sprinted out into the hallway.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooo

_Why do they always try to make these sets look like someone lives here? Porn isn't supossed to be relistic. It's a fantasy._

I thought picking up props that laid around the bedroom set, waiting for Marlene's mystical camera guy. I heard the door open behind me.

_Well... Here we go._

I scowled as  turned around but was plesently suprised by the intruder.

_Well aren't you a cutie?_

I couldn't hide my predatory smile as I looked at the young guy.

He was an innocent, artsy type, in a pale yellow 'way to big for his small frame' jumper. I couldn't help but fawn over him.

"Hey! Sorry about the mean face mate." I walked towards him and held out my hand. "I've just been waiting in here for a while. I'm Sirius by the way."

He stared at my hand with a worried face. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Don't worry they're clean I just washed them."

He looked at me and smiled, takeing my hand.

"I'm Remus." He winced as if He wasn't supposed to tell me that.

He held my hand a little longer than would be considered socially normal.

_That's right sweetie. You can stare all you want._

I slipped my hand away from him.

"Oh yeah guess we should get started then." he chuckled nervously.  
  
"Is this your first time?"

His eyes widened as if I caught him off guard.  
  
"Oh no, I've done a few photo shoots for Marlene and her girlfriend."  
  
I smiled.

_You're an awful liar sweet heart._

"Okay, I do things a little differently whenever I direct a photoshoot."   
  
I gave him a confused look as I nodded.  
  
"So, you know, bare with me I guess."  
  
He looked at the door and positioned himself off to the side, halfway between the door and the bed, and faced back towards me.  
  
"Okay. Can you come over here and act like you just came in the door? Then like walk over to the bed like you're really pissed off."  
  
_You've got a weird way of doing things sweet heart._

I walked to the door and did as I was told. He watched me through the view finder as I made my way to the bed, taking off my boots and shirt.  
  
**Click**  
  
I slouched over, propping myself up with my elbows on my knees.

 _... What know?_  
  
"Could you lay back on the bed like you're completely exhausted and just annoyed with the entire world?"  
  
I laughed and flew back onto the bed. He walked away from my line of sight then returned standing on a chair.  
  
I rolled my eyes and sighed to go for the emotion he wanted.  
  
**Click**

_Ok, should probably start warming up. What will it be today?_

**Click**

"Can you look up at me kind of sad and tired?"

He derailed my train of thought, but I did what he asked anyway.

_How am I supposed to get turned on while trying to look sad and tired?!._

**Click**

_Get it together Sirius! You've worked with shittier directors. He's lucky he's cute, other wise I would've just gone home._

_Now who's an atractive man I would like to do unspeakable things to? Hmmmm... The barista from this morning was pretty hot. Being around those hot pots all day, he must get real sweaty. I'd like to wake up in the morning with him in my kitchen... Wearing nothing but that tiny bit of cloth they try to pass off as an apron._

I felt myself getting hard but the guy wasn't doing anything. I stared impaintly for a good minute before clearing my throat to get his attention.

 _"_ Sorry. Um." He acted like he was inspecting his camera.

"What do you think about when you do this?"

"Well. Um... I've actually never been asked that before." I looked passed his head, deep in thought as I sat up.

_I'm not sure you want to know sweetie but... You asked._

**Click**

I sat on the edge of the bed and he jumped off the chair and moved out of the way.

"A man. Tall handsome. He stands in the doorway." I pointed at the door and began to relax a little. I was already pretty hard so I let my mind wander a little, still keeping my fantisy in mind.

_The barista is standing in my door way. How sweet of you to drop by._

_I wonder what I should get for lunch after this._

**Click**

Remus stepped in front of me.

_No wait! It's still kind of early! What if they're still serving breakfast?!_

"Look at the camera as if it's him."

I smiled his instructions

_Oh sweetie... Ok. I guess I'll play your little game._

"Is he close to you?"

I imaged the barista walking towards me, standing right in front of me, rubbing his hand down my naked torso.

"Yes. He's reaching out to me." I closed my eyes and undid my trousers.

"How is he touching you?"

In my mind the man had mounted me and I supported myself with my free hand while the other ran over my nipple causeing me to shutter. I ran it through my hair and teased my lips with my pinky. Every time the man in my imagination talked, he sounded like Remus. I didn't mind this. He had a low, soft, kind voice. Honestly... It was kinda hot.

I had my hand in my pants by now and was slowly pumping myself.

**Click**

The barista was slowly replaced with the sweet man in front of me.

_'Awww love. No need to be shy. You can touch where ever you want.' He shyly ran his fingers over my mouth, staring at me with his beautiful honey gold eyes. I stuck one of the digits in my mouth and sucked gently. He bit his lip and stared at me. 'Do you like that honey? Do you like when I stuck on you like that?'_

**Click**

_'I could suck other places if you'd like."_

I opened my eyes and saw that he was smirking.

Normally when a camera guy gets turned on while watching me it kinda ruins my mood, but, the thought of this sweet little thing wanting to do 'not so sweet things to me' was turning me on even more.

**Click**

_His hand on my cock moved faster_.

"Is that his hand?"

I nodded.

_'You're doing so well baby... That's it.'_

**Click**

"Oh fuck." I felt the words leave my lips before I could stop them.

**Click**

I stared into the camera and picked up my pace at the sound of Remus breath being caught in his throat.

**Click**

_You're enjoying this. Aren't you sweet heart?_

I came, hard and fast, playing it up a little for the camera but staring at Remus. I was brought back from my fantasy.

_Now... How do I make this a reality?_

**Click**

"So. Um. I guess where done... You good?"

I put my trousers back on. I let my eyes scan his body as he stared at me.

"It was good for me." I said through lowered lids. "How was it for you?"

I gave him a cheeky smile that made him blush.

"It was nice to meet you." He said in a nervous tone.

_Merlin. Why are you so cute?!_

He nodded good bye and left the room. I laid back and basked in the aftershock.

Some people think that porn stars have sex all of the time, not counting work of course. I could go out, get any guy I wanted, but I have higher standards than that.

_God. That sweet little thing is a pervert's wet dream isn't he? I have to have him... At least once._

The images of him tied to my bed made my prick feel about ready for round two. 

My phoned buzzed and I saw it was a text from Sarah telling me to 'get my hot ass to the front office.' I used the back door of the room that led to a bathroom and then the offices. After washing my hands I walked to the desk to talk to Sarah.

"Look at these!" She pointed at the monitor excitedly.

_Holy shit! These are the best I've ever taken! Maybe sweet heart isn't a shitty photographer after all._

"I'm calling my manager." I said and took the back way back to the set.

ooooooooOOOOOOOOoooooooo

"Holy shit Alice! You should see them!" I spoke into the phone and walked out into the hallway.

She coughed a little. "What about Frank?"

"I don't think he'll made not having to see my penis everyday."

There was a silence over the phone."He nodded. Talk to the guy and see if he'll do it first." She answered.

Marlene and Remus were out in the hall, but didn't really notice until I heard Remus.

"No. He's Sirius."

I couldn't hold back my chuckle.

"Don't worry Al. I can be very convening when I need to be... Alright... Love you too... Bye."

I hung up and walked over to the two standing in the hallway.

"What about Sirius?" I smiled at Marlene and walked over to place my hand on her shoulder.

"Are telling your attractive friend bad things about me Mar?"

"I have no bad things to tell darling." She winked.

"All the dirt I have is already on the internet." 

I smiled and looked over at Remus.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."

He perked up and nodded

"You see; I don't get along with most photographers and today..." I'm not sure why but I felt a little nervous asking "I had fun."

_What the hell?! Pffft! I don't get nervous!_

"Would you wanna do one or two more shoots with me?" 

_Please say yes!_

"And maybe Sirius could help you with your project?" Marlene said.

"Project?" I asked.

"For school. Me and my mates have to do a presentation, well, we made ours a documentary. It has to be on something taboo. We picked sex." Remus told me.

"Meadows is doing a section on the BDSM and kink communities. I'm helping her." Marlene added

"I'm sure you are." I nudged her.

"I said he should do the life of a porn star. He said no because I'm the only one who knows personally. I suggested maybe asking you."

I nodded.

_An excuse to see this cutie again! Fuck yeah I'm on board!_

"I'd love too!" I thought for a second. "I'll help you, if, you do two or three more shoots with me. If we work together you'll get an up close and personal account."

_God! I'm a genius... Wait... Why isn't he saying anything... Does he need convening?_

"I can beg on my knees if you want. I'm told I'm very good on my knees." I couldn't help but wink

"OK, fine" He shrugged

I held out my hand. He stared at my hand the same way he did when we met.

He pulled a tissue out of his bag and shook my hand, using it as a barrier. Marlene began to laugh hysterically. I gasped comically and he laughed a sweet little laugh.

"I do wash my hands damn it! I'm not a barbarian!"

"I know. Your just so fun to mess with." He smiled

I smirked and pulled him into me. I adored the fact he was slightly shorter than me, his stunned eyes making my smirk grow.

"Baby you don't know the half of it." I used my sexy voice.

_Oh sweet heart... You have no idea what you've gotten into have you?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a discussion with one of my best friends the other day about what porn stars thought about while 'working'. The sub topic being anyone who bottoms and not specifically porn stars. We concluded that the subjects range from, "Now how do I get them to get me off?" to "I wonder if taco bell is still open?"
> 
> Don't forget to comment! I love hearing from you guys!
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!


	7. The Fluffer Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S: This is Sirius.
> 
> R: OK.
> 
> S: Is this Remus?
> 
> R: Yes.
> 
> S: Prove it.
> 
> R: Sirius! I'm standing right in front of you! I just gave you my number.
> 
> S:... What color are my pants.
> 
> R: Blue.
> 
> S: Lucky guess Remus... Lucky guess.

I opened my eyes to the surrounding darkness. A black fuzzy mass slowly rising and falling under my arm. I looked off to the red numbers that gave off a faint light. 2: 33 am.

_That’s a new record!_

I’ve never been able to sleep very well due to nightmares and shit. I picked up and unlocked my phone. The bright light sent a surge of pain through my head.

_I wonder who’s up._

I flipped through my phone’s contacts.

_Remus L._

I smiled at the name.

_I fucking want him!_

I hadn't seen him in two weeks but I still text him a lot. Especially when I can’t sleep. I feel very comfortable around him. He's not like other guys I talk to who just want to get in my pants.

I don't think he's gay. Maybe curious. I can work with curious. Honestly I just have an over whelming feeling to make him happy. To see how amazing he is.

I've always been a people pleaser but, there's just something about him.

Remus L.

2:33 am

S: You're beautiful did you know that?

R: I do now.

S: Did one tell you that today or yesterday?!?!?!

R: Lol! No.

S: Those filthy fuckers! I swear Remus Lupin! Every day, from now on, I will remind You of your beauty! One to a million times a day, every day!

R: XD. Thanks Sirius. You should probably go to bed now.

S: When was the last time someone told you were beautiful?

R: You did. Twice just now.

S: Before now you beautiful bastard!

R: Hahaha! I can't really remember.

S: Well you are so ha! Good night my beauty.

R: Good night Sirius.

I stand up all night looking at his Instagram. There were very few pictures of him. Most of the pictures were pieces of his. They were beautiful. Each picture had so much work put into them. Everything was placed specifically and added just the right aestectic.

I looked at the clock again 10:30 am. I nudged Padfoot’s sleeping form.

“Get up you lazy mutt.” I joked.

He whined and snugged his muzzle under the blankets.

“Hey! If I’m up, you’re up.” I threw the blanket off the bed and he growled at me.

I smiled at him and wrestled with him in the bed. He grabbed the blancket and pulled on it. I pulled on the blanket and played tug-o-war with him.

“Wake up you dumb ass it’s morning!” He let go and ran out of the room. I followed him into the living room and watched him jump on the couch and fall back asleep. I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I heard my phone ring from the other room. I took my bowl of ceral to the living room. I push Padoot over so I could sit down and

I picked up my phone to see who texted me.

Remus L.

10:30 am

R: Hey.

S: Hey.

R: What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino?

S: Uhhhh… I don’t know.

R: Elephino.

S: Huh?”

R: Say it out loud.

“Elephino.” It took me a minute but when I got it I started to choke. I was laughing but still had trouble breathing. Padfoot started to run around the couch. I eventually caught my breath and sat back on the couch.

“I’m ok honey.” I pet Padfoot and he laid across my lap. I picked up my phone and cleared my throat.

S: I just choked on my cereal XD!

R: Muwahahaha!!!

S: Did you make that up?!

R: I read it from a milk carton.

S: Where did you get a milk carton?

R: Uni café.

R: what time is the shoot today?

I smiled at the question.

_You looking forward to it baby?_

S: When ever you're free.

R: I'm done with classes for today. I only had the one.

S: What time?

R: 8 am.

I cringed.

"So glad I didn't go to university." I told padfoot through a mouth of corn flakes.

R: Just got done with breakfast. meet you there in 20?

S: See you soon beautiful.

I smiled and put down my phone.

°°°°°°°°∆°°°°°°°°°

"So, cha fuck him yet?" Sarah asked nonchalantly as she typed on her computer.

I gasped from where I was leaning on the counter, staring at my phone.

"Sarah! How dare! An adorable specimen such as him deserved to be whined and dined." I said in my most gentlemanly voice.

_Pause for affect..._

"But yeah, that's then end goal."

She laughed at me.

"I do like him though! He's really sweet and funny and cute and..." I absentmindedly rambled like school girl about how great this guy was.  
I liked him a lot actually. He seemed fun to be around. I could really see us being close friends maybe. As of now he was my next conquest. A challenge.

I know it sounds bad to think of a person in that why but, there's what? Seven billion people in the world? Why get tied down to one or settle for the easy ones.

_Life is my playground,and considering the bullies it's put in my life, I deserve to rule this jungle gym._

I smiled as I reread our messages from last night.I could just picture his smirk, his blush. The way his face got red warmed my heart.  
He ran into the office out of breath and excitement beaming over his face.

"Hey beautiful." I winked, spinning the key to the bed room set around my finger.

He smiled brightly, his cheeks red from running.

"Hey. Are we in the bedroom again?"

I looked at him questioningly.  
"Do you want a different set?"

He nodded happily.

"I have an idea! It'll be super cool if we can pull it off!"

He walked over to Sarah at the desk

"Is there some kind of conference room we could use? like a small one?"

She smiled and handed Remus a key to the room.

I followed him as he ran down the hallway, carrying all this heavy equipment. Once in the small room, he placed the table and three rolly chairs just so.

"This is perfect!"

I looked at him confused has he stepped up on the chair he placed in the corner of the room.

"What exactly are you doing? You probably shouldn't stand on that chair." I reached up and tried to balance him.

He simply laughed with an excited smile on his face.

"I'll be fine. I just need to get the right angle."

His energy was contagious. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You're really into it this time aren't you?" I looked up at him from my spot on the floor.

"I actually know what I'm doing this time. Now can you pace in front of the table for me?" He started to watch me through the view finder, still with a dorky grin on his face.  
I laughed before marching around the table.

"Be impatient."

**Click**

"You do know who you're talking to right?" I turned to face him and gestured to myself, my trade mark evil smirk in full view.

He laughed. "Just do it."

"Well, maybe I don't want to now." I pouted jokingly, refusing to look at him.

"Please?" He asked.

_Oh god. How can I say no to that face._

"It's so hot when you beg." I teased.  
I uncrossed my arms and began to pace around the table angrly.

**Click**

"Now pretend the person behind the camera is someone that you really hate. They've trapped you here and you can't get it out. They're watching your every move."

I scoffed with a smile

_This sounds fun._

I let my body fill with anger, it felt good. I didn't think of anything in particular. I enjoyed the feeling of spite in my gut.

_This is what I wanted to do. This was my dream. Take a motivation, make a character. Act._

I walked up and flipped off the camera.

**Click**

"If you want to talk to me why don't you come down and do it you fucking cowards?!" I spat.

The scene was unfolding before me.

_An intimidating CV cam staring down at me. I'm trapped. They caught me, but they won't break me._

**Click**

"You want to watch something? I'll give you something to watch!"  
I stood up on the table and turned around to face Remus.

**Click**

I smiled at the camera as I un-did my trousers.

**Click**

I pulled my pants down to my knees and thrusted my prick into my hand.

"Is this what you want assholes?!"  
I spit on my hand and used it as lube to pump myself.

It was super uncomfortable.  
How can I gross these guys out as much as possible.

I was proud of my acting abilities, of course, but I was still softer than a teddy bear!

_OK Sirius. What is something sexy you can add to this?_

_The door beneath opened and a sandy blond haired man walked in. He sauntered up like a sexy Bond villain. His golden eyes stared at me, a seductive smirk on his face. I stopped for only a moment to look back at him._

_'Are you proud of yourself?' He walked closer and rubbed up my legs._

_'Is this what you want?'_

I moaned as my thumb teased the head and spread precum over the top.

_'You got captured just to see sweet little me?' he stood on the table and grabbed my dick._

_'They're going to kill you.'_  
_His breath on my neck sent a chill down my spine. He pumped me faster._

I played up a moan and caught a glimpse of Remus's knees giving a little.

_'No,' He chuckled lowly. 'You came here for him.'_

**Click**

He lowered the camera to his stomach and I couldn't help but look into his beautiful eyes. He was turned on. I could tell by the way his pupils were slightly dilated.  
The spark of innocence sent me over.

**Click**

I came, hard and fast, moaning loudly. I looked down at my cum, dripping off my fingers into the floor. 

**Click**

I jumped off of the table, pushed away the Remus imposter, and awkwardly hobbled towards Remus, my pants now around my ankles. I coated my fingers evenly with my jizz and licked them clean, giving the camera the finger one more time

**Click**

I spat at the ground in front of Remus.

I looked up just in time to see the chair wobble.

I reached out grabbing both of his wrists before the chair slipped out from under him.

_Well... Looks like he's falling for me. Now is not the time for jokes! He could be hurt!_

"Dude are you okay?" I asked through furrowed brows.

He shushed me and flipped through his pictures.

 _More worried about his work than his well being... A true artist._  
_He cheered and I could help but smile._

"Look at it! Look at this, it's perfect!"

"Yeah that's nice and all but, are you okay?"

"Huh, what? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

I sighed in relief. I was kinda peeved that he shushed me and what not but, I'd get over it.

_Anything is worth it to see that smile._

He looked up from his camera and to his wrist, which was shiny from the residue left on my hands. His was turned pale.

He looked down at my penis, eyes widened in shock probably.  
Then he laughed. Not like he thought is was funny, like a nervous laugh that slips out when you're surprised.

"Hey what the fuck are you laughing at?" I looked down "Oy! That's just rude. No laughing at little Sirius! That's rule number one dude!"

"Hardly little."

His eyebrow arched. He seemed very impressed. I felt pride fill my chest.

_Go ahead darling. Look all you want._

He blushed, looking back at his camera. I couldn't help but Stare at his, now bright red face.

"I'm sorry. It took me off guard. Also could you please make it stop staring at me?" He asked

I laughed so hard I was having trouble breathing and pulling up my trousers.

His face cringed at the sight of his wrist. I thought he might throw up.  
I went to the storage locker in the back of the room.

"Damn. You guys think of everything." 

"You've got to in this business." I winked and silently enjoyed his blushing complexion.

He turned in the photos and returned the key.  
I yawned, still slightly exhausted by the aftershock.

"Aww. Is little Sirius tired?" He teased

"Yes he is! Starving as well. You hungry?"

"Yeah I could eat."

We walked to my favorite café.

"You know if you want, you have all of your stuff, we can film for the documentary." I told him.

_I hope we don't get done with it today... I can't come up with another excuse to be around you..._

Oh yeah, that sounds like a good idea!"

He talked to the manager and discussed filming at the shop.  
We sat across from one another as I watched him set up.

"Take one. Interview, Sirius Black."He whispered into the microphone.

"Do you think we're going to need more than one take?"

"It depends if you answer the questions correctly."

_I love it when you sass me_

"That sounds a little bit biased and unfair." I teased.

He laughed sweetly.

"So how did you get started in this industry?"

"Aw the age-old question. Why did you start doing porn?" I leaned forward, racking my brain for answers and memories.  
"Well everyone has their story really. It's either it was a career that you strived for, or you were kind of thrown into it. I was the second one. I didn't really have a purpose for starting. The fact that it pisses my family off is a plus."

_To get revenge?_

"So you have family issues." He clarified.

"Yeah that's a fucking understatement. Everyone except for maybe one or two of them hate me."

I am very open about how incredibly terrible my family is.

_No kid deserves that._

"So what is your favorite thing about your job?" He brought me back.

"I think it's just a freedom."

_The illusion_

"Porn is just so Unapologetic and it's something that everyone can find and relate to."

 _I can pretend someone loves me._  
  
"Everyone talks about it like it's something gross and should be hated and rejected."

If only for a moment.

"But, in reality, it's just one of the many things that make us human; and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

_But then... It's over._

"Everyone gets horny and everyone has fantasies.

_I'm left alone._

"Porn stars just bring them to life."

_Cold again..._

I told him why I stayed. I fell in love with my work. I love to talk about it and share my excitement with others. I wasn't lieing about likeing it... I just didn't tell the whole truth.

"What was your first job like?"

"Awkward."

I laughed.

_Little 18 year old me... Scared shitless_

_"The guy I was working with was really sweet."_

_The older man I was working with had a friendly smile. He had to be in his 30s. Still, he was very fit._

_'Listen Sirius.' He started his lines. 'I know it's weird that I'm married to your mother now, but can still be friends. I want that for us.'_

_He put his hand on my knee. I chill shot through me from the stranger's touch._

"What was the name of your first film?" Remus asked

_'It's OK.' He mouthes at me while the cameras were rolling. I was so scared. I couldn't even remember my lines_

_'I want that too."_

_Beat_

_I lean forward and pin him to the couch._

_'Sirius? What are you doing?'_

_Then came the spark. The fire that started it._

_'You want to be friends right? This is how I make friends.' I ran my hand down his strong body, drown his torso, and cupped his dick._

_'But this is how I keep them.' I began undoing his belt and pants._

_He was hard. Rock hard. Because of me. He wanted me. He needed me._

_I kissed him deeply, his deep baritone voice vibrating my body as he moaned in to my mouth._

_Here I have control. I can reward, punish, praise, I can chose to love or abandon. The audience will eat their hearts out as the stronger older man uses my body. Holds me and says the dirtiest things in the sweetest of ways._

_But once we're done shooting... I'm left cold and alone. A vicious cycle I can't escape... I don't want to._

I smiled at the memory, but held back a dark chuckle in the back of my throat.

"Daddy's Home."

His cute little laugh brought me back. I smiled.

"I love the names. It's one of my favorite bits."

"Is Sirius Black your real name."

_Sirius is my name... Black is their's._

I beamed proudly.

"Yep! Sirius Orion Black."

"Why use your real name?"

"The most ancient and noble house of Black, would be devastated if the public knew the heir was a filthy pervert." I swooned back dramatically like an old woman who just saw a willy.

"You really hate your family huh?"

"You would too if you saw how pompous they are."

_And evil._

"Wouldn't you fit in then?" He joked.

_No! I will never be like them._

"I'm a nice pompous asshole. Their mean pompous assholes."  
I sipped my coffee.

"Do you excel or participate in any specific kink?" He asked.

_He looks so sweet._

"Exhibitionism. We all kind of get that away eventually."

_I want to be his friend._

"What is that exactly?"

_I want to corrupt him..._

"Exhibitionism is where you get off on people getting off, on your body or you... Getting off." I couldn't think of a better at to phrase that.

He laughed brightly.

"Do you yourself practice any other kinks personally?"

"Uuuuummmmmm." I thought.

I have a few kinks I guess, choking, leather, Dom and sub stuff...

"Public sex is kinda hot."

He looked at me confused.

_It's all about the emotions._

"Like... Have you ever gotten a blowie, or given one, in a semi-public area?"

He shook his head looking terrified.

"There are so many emotions that go on during it." I got really excited and scooted towards him.

_This is when I'm my happiest. This is my paradise._

"So, you've already got all of the hormones rushing through your body along with the reactions and responses of your partner. Now, there's a rush. What if we get caught? What if they can hear us? Then at a point, all of these emotions build up inside of you and you're just like 'Fuck it!'."

_The passion, the want, need, it consumes you. You have to give in._

The way he looked at me was with interest. Porn and sex, being as taboo as it is, isn't really a topic that people like to talk about. But this is my life, my art, my escape and I love it.

"You've never done that?"

He shook his head shyly. 

"Well," I leaned towards him. "There's an empty broom cupboard in the back." I winked and smiled has his face turned red again.

He laughed, covering his mouth with his hand to quiet it.

"OK, yeah. I'm gonna have to edit that out." He shook his head and smiled in shock.

"Do you what you want. But, my offer still stands."

His face got brighter has he moved his camera off to the side.

"Those are all of the questions I can think of off the bat. I'll make a formal list and interview you later."

"Tell me about you." I asked.

I was really interested in him. He had this alure to him, drawing me in like a magnate.

He shrugged, his blue jumper sliding around his shoulders as he moved. "There's not much to tell."

"Bullshit. You've got some sort of super natural picture powers! I've seen your work and I love it! How do you do it?"

He smiled.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." He shyly quipped

I leaned closer so I could look into his eyes. I'm not quite sure what I was going to say. Something about 'showing him a trick'. Oh well. It was probably bad. It was a little bit harder to flirt with Remus. He was so sweet and innocent.

His phone rang.

"Hello?!... Hey Lily... Or right! The study session! I'll be over in a minute."

_Oh... He is straight._

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed. Remus seemed good though. I still want keep him around some how.

"Is Lily your girlfriend?"

"Huh? Oh! No, I don't have a girlfriend. I do have to go I'm afraid." 

I couldn't help but smile in victory. I grabbed his hand.

"Good bye for now beautiful." I Lightly pecked his knuckle.

_Until we meet again darling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So funny story behind this chapter. I apparently wrote the first draft while half a sleep.
> 
> So sleep deprived Apple thought.
> 
> "This is the greatest thing ever!"
> 
> Luckily he fell asleep before he could post it.
> 
> To say the first draft was shite would be an understatement XD!
> 
> I told my sister about it, after discovering nothing could be salvaged from the monstrosity, she replied saying.
> 
> "Apple. Sometimes we do things and it is golden, beautiful, and perfect. Other times you get an awkward fourway between Remus, Sirius, and Walter and David from Alien Covenant."


	8. Self Portrait Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S: Hey... You know what you should do?
> 
> J: What's that?
> 
> S: Cook food, bring it to me, and let me say I did.
> 
> J: Why would I do that?! Just pull a Doutfire. Order take away and set it up fancy.
> 
> J: What is this for exactly?
> 
> S: ... Company.
> 
> J: What kind of company?
> 
> S: ... Sexy company.
> 
> J: Yeah! No! I am not making you food just so you can get laid!
> 
> S: FINE!
> 
> S: I guess you can watch.
> 
> J: *Eye roll* Goodbye Siri.

_I got a condo in Manhattan_

_Baby girl what's hatnin'_

_You and your ass invited_

_Go on get to clappin'_

The music filled the room as I danced around the room making my way to the kitchen.

I had just gotten back from work. I was the fluffed for the day. You know? The one they bring in for the guys to look at if he can't get it up. I just kinda stand around naked.

I had texted Remus earlier and convinced him to come over at six. I looked at the clock in my living room.

4:30 pm

"How hard can Asian food be to cook?" I scoffed at Padfoot.

He barked in agreement. I looked up an easy recipe on my phone and got to cooking.

_No thanks to you James!_

I sat out all of the ingredients, pots, pans, other cooking things.

"OK, let simmer for ten minutes." I read out loud.

Padfoot was staring up at me wagging his tail. I got on my knees and pet his head with both hands.

I went to pick out an outfit real fast.

_OK, something sexy but casual._

I picked out a tight fitting Guns n' Roses tee and black skinny jeans.

"Daddy's gonna get laid tonight isn't he? Isn't Daddy going to get laid tonight!"

He closed his eyes and smiled. he wiggled away and barked at the kitchen.

"What is it now you dumb mutt?" I smiled.

Then I smelled the burning.

"Oh fuck!" I ran in to the kitchen and turned off the stove.

The food was burnt to a crisp.

4:50pm

"Guess that's ten minutes." I laughed with relief.

_I've got time to fix this right?_

I sat out the ingredients again and...

_Was that the last of the chicken?! Mother fucker!_

I went out to get more chicken. Traffic was terrible and the lady in front of me payed for her things in coins and has twenty fucking coupons!

5:20pm

 _Ok, here we go. You've got this_!

Things normally don't go wrong for me...

_Don't sweat the small stuff._

I watched the food like a fucking hawk!!

5:40pm

_Perfect!_

"Alrighty then! Off to shower."

I pet Padfoot as I left the room.

6:00pm

I went off to take a quick shower. Not bothering to put on my shirt on yet.

I walked in to check the food.

_It's gone?! How?!_

The rice I had in steam cooker was fine. I looked over at the stove and the pan was flipped over in the floor and Padfoot was eating it!

"Pads!" I shouted.

The bastard smiled and tried to jump on me.

"No! Bad doggo!"

I walked over to the pan and picked it up.

"You have a visiter Mr. Back. Should I send him up?" Carlos's voice droned over the intercom.

I could have sworen I held the pan over the counter...

Apparently not.

I dropped the fucker on my toe!

"Shit! My fucking toe! Oh uh, yeah! Thanks Carlos!"

The intercom clicked off. I rubbed my face in a angry painic. Padfoot whined at me.

"You're luck you're so cute." I sighed.

There was a knock at the door. Padfoot started to bark.

"Hey! Be nice to Daddy's friends OK?"

He stopped barking and walked to the bedroom.

I opened the door, leaning up against the door frame.

"I tried." I said.

He looked me up and down for a moment.

_I love it when you stare._

"Huh? What?"

"The Asian food. It didn't quite work out."

I could see he sudutlly sniff the air. He gave me a faint smile of forgiveness.

"Is take away OK?" I asked and led him through the flat.

"Yeah, that's cool." 

He looked around the space, looking some what impressed.

"This is really nice." He said as he put is open bag on the island in the kitchen.

"Thanks! I quite like it. It's a nice size for me and padfoot."

I started cleaning up the mess I made with I heard the cute little trit trot of foot steps.

"Well hi there sweety!"

I looked back and saw Remus bent over petting his head.

I was surprised he just walked up to him. Padfoot is normally a little weird around strangers. It took him two visits to get used to James.

Remus tossled his head gently as Pads smiled back.

_Smug little twat._

"You're such a pretty boy aren't you?"

He spoke like he was talking to a baby. I smiled. It warmed my heart that Pads took a shine to him. I watched smile and lean in close so Pads could lick his cute little nose.

_Lucky! I'd do anything to kiss that nose... Wait... What?!_

I let out a small laugh at my own thoughts. Looking fully to Remus, I saw he had stood up to lean back against the counter.

_You're blushing again sweetheart._

 "Sorry. I really like dogs." He answered shyly.

The shy look on his face caused my words to escape me. All I could do was smile.

_What the hell is happening to me?!_

"Ditto." I replied awkwardly.

In my unfamiliar painic, I nonchalantly walked to the phone and ordered take out.

"They said that'd be 45 minutes give or take."

"Cool!" He smiled

I dried off my hands from washing the dishes. The awkward silence filled the room as I did so.

_Why am I nervous?! Sirius Black doesn't get nervous!_

"How was your day?" I said after a while.

"Ok. Yours?"

_Way to add to the conversation Remus..._

I shrugged and threw the towel in my hand on the drying rack. I stared to look around the room, trying to find some inspiration to spark up a dialogue. I saw his open bag on the island and caught a glimce of a polalroid camera inside.

"No way!" I looked at it in the bag.

"I love Polaroids!"

"You can touch it if you like." He smiled and nodded towards the bag, fueling my excitement

I gasped dramatically and carefully held the camera. "Oh sir! Thank you sir!"

 "My dad got that for me when I was 6." He added as I carefully marvaled at the contraption in my hand. "It was my first camera and my favorite."

I couldn't help but smile at his bright face.

"I like it more than my digital camera, but I can't use it as much because the film is so bloody expensive."

"Well," I reassured "With the pictures you take of me, you'll be able to afford to use it all of the time."

I walked to the other side other island to stand in front of him. I moved the camera carefully in my hands but watched him in my peripherals.

"Not only do you get your work immediately printed, it has a genuine look you can't get from crisp high resolution photos. Even with a a filter."

My heart warmed at the excitement in his face.

Moved slightly when he pointed at the camera. The moon in the window behind him created a halo on his head.

"Even watching it develop before your eyes is exc-"

"Wait!"

I stopped him

_You are perfect_

"Sit up on the counter."

He did.

"A little to left."

He moved

_You are beautiful_

"Perfect! Say cheese!"

**Click**

I shook the devolping picture and looked at his smirk and happy eyes.

I smiled as I quickly grabbed a black marker and wrote 'Moony' on the blank space and decorated it with a crescent moon.

Remus was a genuine person. Nothing fake, no act, 100% Remus. I admired how, from an outside perspective, he's just an ordinary guy. Once you get to know him... He's this new discovery that you can never learn enough about.

"I rather like that name for you; Moony. It fits with your sir name too! Lupin means wolf right?"

He nodded shyly

"You really are beautiful."

_You will be mine_

"Do you like it?"

He shook his head.

"I don't really like pictures of myself."

"If I looked like you, I would take all of the pictures."

_Well... I guess I kinda already do that..._

He laughed.

"I really like working with you, you know? You're fun!" I picked up the camera again.

"And other photographers aren't?" He smirked

I made a stupid face and didn't bother looking through the view finder when 'shoot'.

_Good photographers are so a hard to find._

"OK, now get your cock out."

I crossed my eyes and took on the dumbest voice I could

He laughed.

"That bad huh?"

I nooded wide eyed.

_So bad._

An awkward silence filled the room. I didn't know what to say... I was nervous... All I could do was fiddle with the camera in my hands.

_Say something you dumb ass! What is wrong with you?!_

I glanced up at him to see his cute face staring at me.

Thinking on my feet, I lifted the camera a pretended to take pictures.

"Oh yeah! That's it! Give it to me Moony!"

He bit back a smile and tried to look judgingly at me.

"Now give me 'sexy'!"

I broke him.

"Yeah! That's so fucking hot!"

_So bright. So happy. So real._

"I'm not doing anything!"

He laughed.

I stood closer to him, lowering the camera to look him in the eyes.

"Your smile. There's nothing hotter than a sexy smile!"

He gave me a look of disbelief.

My words flicked a switch.

He chuckled, lowered his head, and looked up at me with the sexiest smile I'd ever seen.

My body chilled.

With the same look, he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. He bit his lip, leaned back on his hands, and looked up and down my body.

My cells ran hot.

_Damn..._

I'm not sure when I smile faded. Now my jaw had dropped in amazement.

I froze. My words escaped me. My actions failed me. I panicked.

_Do something!_

**Click**

I lifted the camera and snapped a picture to give myself time to collect my thoughts.

_God I want you._

I shook the picture loudly to cover up my heavy breathing.

"That's a keeper." I smirked.

_Saving that for later._

I sat down the camera and looked back at him.

_Don't be shy baby._

I grabbed his wrist to stop him from buttoning up his shirt.

I flashed him a smile of reassurance.

_Can I?_

I silently asked permission for each move I made as my heart began to race. I put my hands on his knees, opening them so that I could stand closer. The heat from his body felt amazing. He stared at me, lips parted, questioning, waiting.

I kissed him.

_He tastes like chocolate._

I have always been an amazing kisser. I never even had to think about it. But with Remus, I wanted every move to be perfect.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me to him. I slipped my tongue between his lips. A sweet little sound left him.

_A moan? A squeak? Whatever it is, my new life goal is to hear that little noise everyday!_

I ran my hands down his sides. I wanted to feel every part of his body I could. I slid my hands down his torso to grope his bulge.

To say this boy was blessed... That would be an understatement. He was big, but not too pick. Only being able to get a sense of his size, my body ached to feel it, taste it.

He moaned low in my mouth but put a hand between us.

"Wait."

I leaned back to look at him, trying hard to hide my frustration.

"I've never..."

_Oh fuck..._

I felt the terror in my face.

"Are you... Are you a virgin?!"

_Please say no, please say no..._

"What? No! No! God no!"

I felt a rush of relief.

_Thank god! I am not willing to take that responsibility._

"I just uuhh... I've never..."

"With a guy." I realized.

He nodded not making eye contact with me.

"I don't want to push you into something you don't want to do."

I always follow the four Cs when having any kind of sex with anyone.

Lovers, friends, costars, camera guy whose the only one in the room when I'm gagging for a dick to suck... Anyone!

_Conversation, consent, cooperation, comfort._

I gave him a calming look as I touched his soft cheek. He smiled and held my hand to his face. His honey eyes made my heart skip a beat.

It also made me want him even more.

I glanced down to see Little Lupin setting up camp in his jeans.

I quirked an eyebrow. My mouth watering at the dirty thoughts running through my head.

"But I can't leave you like this,"  
I cupped his clothed dick and felt his encouraging thrust into my hand. "That just wouldn't be right." I blink innocently.

His pupils were blown wide, his kiss stung lips parted and he looked like he was trying to catch his breath.

"May I?"

_Please Moony? I need you._

He seemed to struggle with his words. He nodded hard making sure I understood.

My heart lept and I kissed him hard and deep. My tongue moving around his warm inviting mouth sent chills down my spine. I struggled to undo his belt. I pulled down his jeans and let them pool at his ankles. His chaste kisses were addictive as I palmed his prick through his pants. He encouraged me by laceing his fingers in my hair.

 _Oh god! Yes! Push my buttons baby!_  

I kissed his jaw and down his neck. I licked his skin, wanting to taste every bit of him.

He bit back a moan as I pumped his thick, hard dick. It felt amazing in my hand, all hot, smooth, warm.

I started to kiss down his chest when he stopped me.

_Getting shy again baby?_

I looked down at the exposed flesh and saw the scares. I felt an anger rise in my stomach.

_I'll kill the bastard who did this!_

I saw the worry on his face as he looked at me. I let tender kisses on each raised bit of flesh.

_You are beautiful... All of you._

He pushed my hair behind my ear and looked down at me with tear filled eyes.

_Don't cry Moony. Let me take care of you..._

I smiled, smirking against his soft chest.

I dropped to my knees and pulled down his pants revealing his beautiful cock. I swallowed a moan when I thought about the taste.

He was already dripping.

He scooted forward on the counter to give me better access.

Thankful for this gesture, I couldn't help but chuckle though.

"Someone's eager." I purred

"Shut up." His sweet face growing red.

I looked into his eyes for encouragement as I ran my tongue down the length of his blessed cock.

I felt his breath change. when I teased his slit and his hand gribbed harder on my hair making me moan around him.

I took him in, deep and fast. I loved the noises and movements he made. His head flew back and my cock twitched. I sucked hard on the tip in the back of my throat and swirled my tongue around his shaft.

_The sweat. The lust in your eyes. This dizzy buzz... You're truly magnificent._

I undid my own jeans and started to pump myself ad I bobed up and down his hard on.

"Oh fuck..." He watched me wank my cock.

I moved faster, moaning as he gripped my hair harder.

He was close.

I shivered has I stared into his eyes. I got lost.

_All you have to do is stand there, look pretty, and I'm wrapped around your finger._

I felt his hot spunk shoot down my throat. The salty taste made my moan and come in my cramped hand.

I swallowed every delicious drop.

I pulled away from hi., a string of spit and cum connecting my lips to his prick. I smiled as I stood up in front of him.

_Now for my favorite bit._

I liked my fingers clean. Staring deep into his eyes I could see how much he loved it.

He pulled me in and kissed me hard. I felt his hands roam all over my body.

It was the best feeling in the world!

Then the speaker came on.

"Your food his here sir. Should I send it up?"

"Yeah, thanks Carlos." I pulled up my pants the best I could on my shaking legs.  
There was a knock at the door and Padfoot ran in to bark at it.

"You see! This is why Carlos doesn't like you!" 

I cleaned my hand and ran to the door grabbing the food. Remus was dressed again and leaning against the counter.

I sat the food on the island and stood across from him in silence.

After a while I pulled him close and kissed him sweetly.

_I could live off of your kisses._

I tried to pull him closer but Pads shoved his snout between us. I smiled.

"Way to cock block me Pads."

Remus laughed and my heart jumped. He leaned into me and laughed into the crook of my neck.

_I never want this to end..._

The warm feeling I'm my heart filled me with joy but also worry.

_But wait... What is this?_

_I think about him all the time._

_I get nervous._

_I'm awkward._

_Things go wrong... But end up right when we're together._

_I want his laugh... To make him Happy..._

_Oh no..._

_No chance... No way!_

_I won't say it!_

_No, no!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics From What I Like by: Bruno Mars.


	9. Mine Part 2

I woke up to darkness. I didn't open my eyes. Feeling around my bed I guess Pads slept in his own for once!

The door cracked and light came in. A siloet of a man in an over sized sweater blocked the light.

"Moony?"

I rubbed my eyes at the light.

"I couldn't sleep... Could stay in here with you?"

My eyes tried to adjust to the light.

I lifted the covers. "Come here Moony baby."

He crawled in bed and snuggled close to my bare chest. He wore a blue sweater and tight blue boxers that showed off his long legs. I closed my eyes and started to drift off when I felt eyes on me.

Remus's eye almost glowed in dark. I could see his lip slip between his teeth. That sexy smile grew on his face. Before I knew what was happening, he mounted me. A cute chuckle left his lips as he grinded against my crotch. I grabbed his hips and smiled to encourage him.

"Having fun baby?" I asked.

He nodded chewing on the end of his thumb. He bent over and gave me a gentle kiss.

"I'll have more fun with you inside me." He chuckled innocently and leaned back to grind harder on me.

I ran my hands up his thighs and spanked the side of his right one. He moan.

"Does baby like that?" I smiled.

He nodded again.

I pulled him over me so I could kiss him. His sweet wet lips made my body melt. I looked into his beautiful eyes and that kind smile.

The word fell out so easily.

"I love you."

He shot up. His eyes were wide in surprise. But then... He laughed.

It was a low, dark, mean laugh and my blood ran cold. The voice that came from him was not my Moony's.

"Love me? You don't care about anyone but yourself, let alone love someone!" The deep voice said.

_Michael._

When he finished laughing he looked down at me. His body covered mine as he whispered in my ear. The voice changed again.

"Don't be so sad... That doesn't mean we can't still fuck."

That voice... My voice.

He bit my ear and kissed wildly up my neck and my face.

I stared at the dark ceiling in shock until he began to frantically lick me like a thirsty dog.

"Get off... Get off! I said get off!!"

I pushed the weight off of me as I shot up in the now completely dark room. I heard a whine beside me and felt around. I pet Padfoot's head.

"Daddy's sorry... Just a bad dream is all."

My head was pounding and I was out of breath as I blindly felt my face.

_Tears?_

I cuddled Padfoot close for comfort and he complied. I pushed all of the horrible images out of my head and fell into a restless sleep.

Stared at the ground right in front of Remus. I was so tired. I watched as Padfoot ran up to Remus and jumped around happily. Remus looked at me and I gave him a sleepy smile.

I still wasn't quiet ready to look him in the eyes... That dream was too real.

He sat down next to me and started to look at the pictures he took. I couldn't keep my head up anymore so I leaned over on his shoulder. I felt him shift nervously.

_If you move I will tackle you..._

"You OK?" he asked. I felt his head turn to look at me.

"Just tired. I didn't sleep well." His skin was so soft and warm. Like a comfy mattress.

It had been a few weeks since 'take out night' as I started to call it. I can't stand for things to be awkward. He didn't really seem to want to talk about it so I went about live as usual. That was, until the dreams started. They started out sexy, you know, 'happy endings' and all that. Those I didn't mind. Last night was the first nightmare I had since hangout with Moony.

_We should probably talk about it... What if it scares him off? How would I even start?_

_Hey dude! So like, you remember when I sucked you off in my kitchen? Since then I can't stop having dreams of you putting your dick inside me. Sooooo... No pressure... But I'd be cool with that._

I felt him chuckle and move closer. I started to doze off at the feeling of his skin as I buried my face further into his neck.

"Hey. Lily got an internship and Google for next summer." He interrupted my thoughts.

"Cool." I answered lazily.

"Yeah, she's really excited. We're going out to celebrate tonight..."

He paused. I smiled at his nervousness.

_You're so cute._

"I thought you wanna meet my friends... Because you're my friend and..."

I chuckled.

"Of course. Sounds fun."

I hugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his body.

_You're so comfy._

He moved as if to get away. I whined but he put his arm around me so he would be more comfortable.

_That's what I thought!_

I let my lips graze is neck and took in his sent as I breathed through my nose.

"You smell good Moony."

"Thanks." I felt him smile.

Padfoot ran over and laid his head and paws in Remus's lap.

"Pads thinks you smell good too."

I caught a glimpse of his sweet nervous smile when I moved to look down at my black fluffy dog.

"Cuddly bunch aren't you two?" He asked

I heard whispers and giggling acroos the way as I buried my face back into his neck. I could sense a feeling of discomfort and felt heat come off his cheeks.

"If I ever make you uncomfortable , you can tell me to stop." I whispered to him.

_I'll internally bitch about it, but I will stop._

I was moved slightly when he turned his head. Unexpectedly he kissed my forehead. I felt a fire in my stomach, a smile on my face, and heat from my cheeks.

He doesn't realize how much that means to me. How loved he makes me feel.

"Way to make it gay Moony."

We both broke into laugh fits, still cuddled up to one another.

_Please stay..._

After the park I went to the flat and sat on the couch in my galaxy cat pants. The only sound came from the telly.

I was off today and there for bored out of my head. I closed my eyes and tried to rest.

_I wonder what Moony's up to... Probably school. Stupid school._

The dream replayed in my mind.

"God I need help." I ran my hands over my face.

Padfoot whimpered and threw his head and front paws over the arm rest in front of me.

"Do you miss Moony?" I asked.

He gave me his sad puppy dog eyes and I laughed.

"Same dog."

I reached for my phone and decided to text Remus.

                         Moony Baby

S: Hey!

Three dots...

Mo: What's up?

S: You should come over. 

Mo: should I?

S: Yes. Unless you have another class.

Mo: I don't but I have a lot of work to do.

S: Bring it here and I can help! After that we can go to the dinner thing.

I looked over at Pads who had jumped on the couch with me.

"You wanna say hi?" I waved my phone at him and he laid across my lap and licked the screen. I laughed and took a selfie.

S: Pads misses you.

I sent the picture of me and Pads. The light hit my abs just right and my buldge looked amazing.

"That's a lot sexier than I ment it to be." I laughed.

Padfoot looked at me judgingly and trit-trotted away.

"You don't even know what I'm talking about you're a dog!" I yelled.

"Judgy bitch."

I looked back at the photo.

_I wonder what he thinks... What if he's in class. Looking at the picture under his desk... Getting hot and bothered. Thinking of me..._

I felt my dick twitch with interest.

_Oh god... This is getting out of hand._

Half a hour later Remus came over to the flat.

"I'm changing! Be out in a sec."

I heard laughter.

"You mean you're putting on clothes?"

I smirked.

"Do you want me naked Moony?"

Silence.

I walked out to see he blushing face staring down at spread out papers. I plopped down in front of him, making sure not to disturb his papers.

"What class is this for?" I asked

"Women at gender studies. We have to know memorize this huge ass list of sexual and romantic preferences." He didn't look up from his paper. He was either concentrating really hard, or trying to avoid eye contact. Either way I wasn't having it.

I playfully slipped away the paper.

"Homosexual, Homoromatic. It makes me sound like I'm my own species." I smirked.

"You are your own species." He smiled up at me.

He paused as he thought what to say next.

"Today we talked about how those of alternative sexualities can find clues from childhood that led to their uh... 'Ah ha' moment."

I racked my memory.

"I can see that."

"What was your moment?"

_'You evil disgrace of a child!' Smack._

"Well it wasn't 'Ah ha' so much as it was 'Well shit'.

_'You're acting like I chose this!'_

_Strapped to a chair in the sitting room. Regulus watches from the hall._

_'Of course you chose this! Anything to tarnish our name!' Smack._

"Why's that?" I asked.

I smiled at him weakly. His worried look made me feel safe.

"In my family... You don't do that shit. Very old fashioned. Proud royalty basically. I was constantly in trouble for just existing and..."

_'Devil child! You can't be saved!'_

"I was... Punished a lot. When it was just me, I wanted to get away but when Reg was born... I had to stay and protect him..."

_'Let this be an example to you. Now off to bed with you young one!'_

I felt him reach for my hand. He rubbed it with his thumb.

I hate to tell the story... My story. Be he just smiled, telling me it was OK. I watched his comforting hand.

"I realized I wasn't straight when I was 16. My cousin Andy dated a lot of guys and when my uncle came over, her and her new boyfriend would come over. She had one that was really cool and super nice! I couldn't help but smiled when I looked at him." The memory made me smile.

_'Hey! I'm Ted!'_

_His hands. Big, rough, strong._

"I didn't wank a lot, but, I thought about him and came so hard the room started spinning." I looked up to try and stop the tears.

He smiled at me.

"They disowned me when I came out and my best mates parents essentially adopted me."

_'What did those bastards do to you now! I'm gonna kill'em! Come on. Mom'll fix you up right quick.'_

"My parents were always easy on Regulus but I was still worried. When I left I told him if they ever tried to hurt him to scream as loud as he could. The cops got called once and they never tried to hurt him again thank god... We still keep in touch."

I felt his grip tighten.

_I must look awful._

"Sorry." I wiped my eyes. "I'm done with my pity party."

"No." I stared into his hurt honey eyes. "Don't be sorry."

He stared back questioningly. I smiled.

_I'm OK._

I shook my body to help compose myself.

"So! What else did you talk about?"

He shot me a reassuring smile.

This was the first time I cried in front of him. Don't even really cry in front of James. Remus is just so... Comfortable... Almost familiar.

"Apparently, now is the most common time for sexual experimentation." I caught the mischievous glint in his eye and laughed.

"I never did any of... Well?"

_'I'm not sure about this Prongs.'_

"That was more practice than experimenting."

_'No it's fine! Trust me!'_

"Practice?" He questioned.

"Yeah. Me and my best mate James would practice snogging each other." I laughed.

_'That was good! Not so much tongue next time though.'_

"We would jot down notes on paper and discuss it with one another."

With wide eyes he laughed in shock.

"Yeah... No!"

"You never did that?"

"No... I don't date too often and my only mate when I was 16 was Peter and he had a girlfriend every other week so he really didn't need practice."

I bit my lip and smirked.

"You were a dork weren't you?"

He mimed 'a little' and pulled out his phone. He handed it to me.

The picture looked fairly recent, only one or two years ago. It was a younger looking Remus and an average looking blond headed kid. They were standing in the stands of a football field.

"Awwww! You're cute!"

_I love that sweet little smile._

"16 year old me would practice snogging with him any day!" I gave back his phone.

"Any more practice and Cupid would be jealous of your talent." He hid his face in his work.

_Oh really now?_

 I flashed a sexy smile.

"You think I'm a hot snog Moony?"

_You sure are..._

He looked at me shyly. I stared at his smiling lips, licking my own thinking about the taste. I closed my eyes and leaned to kiss him. Instead of soft, warm lips I was met by a cold hard surface. I pouted as the barrier was removed. I slowly looked at Moony.

"I really have to get this done before dinner tonight."

_Excuses excuses Moony._

"Just a friendly one." I suggested.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Just a little kiss for your good mate." I turned my head and pointed to my cheek. "Come on love. Just a little, itty, bitty, peck right here."

_Pleeeeeeaaaaasssee!!!!_

"Sirius... I like you... As a friend."

_Wait... What?!_

I felt so hurt. But I also didn't want to lose him.

I nodded sadly.

"I like you as a friend too."

My heart jumped when he grabbed my hand. We smiled at one another.

When six rolled around we walked to the front of the building where my bike was parked. I tossed him my helmet. His stared at the shiny metal body, terror covered his face.

"I've been riding since I was 16." I smiled.

"Just hold on to me and you'll be fine."

We hopped on the bike and I felt the lean a little because of the extra weight. Remus quickly wrapped his arms around me and held on for dear life. I laughed and reveled in the heat he gave off.

"Fucking twat." He murmured.

With one last chuckle we were off.

We walked in to see Dorcas and two others sitting in a line at the table. I was having second thoughts to be honest. I felt like my heart was crushed. I missed the feeling of him cuddling my back.

 _The universe would make a man that perfect and make him straight_.

"You know Dorcas. This is Lily and Peter." 

He introduced my to his other two friends. I smiled happily.

"Nice to meet you." I shook Peter's hand with a smile.

I couldn't stop staring at Lily's beautiful green eyes.

_I may be gay, but if a woman is attractive, she deserves to know in the most respectful way possible... I guess everyone kind of does._

_Why do I always get so sappy when I'm trying to distract myself from my own pain?!_

I gently held Lily's hand. I kissed her knuckle giving her a charming wink and a smile.

"Sirius." I greeted

She rolled her eyes but her smile gave her away.

"That name sounds familiar." Peter asked as Remus and I sat down next to each other.

_Oh boy._

"Your surname wouldn't happen to be Black would it?"

_Fuck..._

I nodded respectfully. "Sadly, but I don't associate myself with them anymore. I would rather not talk about it if you don't mind."

Peter began to apologize profusely.

_Yeah, your not the only one who's sorry about my family._

I gave him a reassuring smile as he continued to babble "It's fine."

I asked Lily about her internship. I enjoyed her excitement and despite not knowing her was very happy of the accomplishment.

A few minutes later, Marlene arrived with a familiar face trailing behind.

_No way..._

"Sorry we're late. Got hung up at work." She said kissing Dorcas on the head before sitting down next to her. The blond man sat in front of me. I tried to ignore him with out bringing attention to it.

_I need a fucking drink._

"I was wondering who would get to use the new sex swing first." I tried to laugh away the sinking feeling... It failed.

I quickly started downing the wine in front of my so I'd stop talking.

_It's gonna be a long fucking night._

Marlene kicked me at a weird angle. She glanced to her side and was reminded of the arse hole next to her.

"Oh! Guys this is Michael. Michael this is Dorcas, Lily, Peter Remus and-"

"Hi Sirius." Michael interupted.

I waved over my whine glass. I did everything I could not to look directly at him.

"You know each other?" Marlene asked.

"We worked together for a while." I answered vaguely as a swallowed the whine in my mouth and waved at the waiter for another.

Immediately after Michael responded.

"We dated for three years."

_You. Little. Shit._

The table went silent. I avoided eye contact with everyone.

_Fucking drama queen_

_Always loved to be the center of attention._

I waved for the waiter and ordered another glass of wine to sit next to the first one.

"So, Peter. What do you study?" I looked at the blond for help.

Peter immediately started rambling on about businessy stuff.

_You my friend, are a life saver._

I watched Peter as he talk. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Michael staring. He'd bit his lip, wink, but no one was paying any attention to him.

_You were never good at flirting love._

I drank more. Half way through my last glass I decided to stop. I still had to drive.

I ordered a water and prepared myself for hell.

That is; until I heard Remus stand up.

"Hey Sirius?" I looked to him. "I left my wallet in the storage thingy on your bike. Can you come help me unlock it?"

I was kinda out of it but saw the sincere look on his face as he felt his pockets.

_If it means getting away from this awkward for a bit, fuck yeah._

"It can be a little tricky." I stood up.

"Be back in a sec." I heard him say as I walked passed him at to the back.

I was lost in my own mind as we walked down the hallway. I tried to think of anything but the awkward situation.

_First the universe throws this amazing guy in front of me. Oh, but he's not gay! Just wants to be buddies! Then my ex shows up, still a tosser I might add. Mother and Father always had connections. Even when i'm excommunicated they still fuck with me._

"You know moony? Normal people wait until after dinner to forget their wallet." I spoke to distract myself from my inner pity party.

I felt a grip tight on my wrist. In a flash I was pulled into a coat check. The sound of scraping metal made me cringe but I was comforted with warm hungry lips. I tried to open my mouth to kiss back but the desperation made it difficult. My body shivered as fingers carded through my hair, grabbing, and pulling me closer. I pushed back so I could catch my breath. I stared at Remus. His eyes filled with lust and want.

I caved.

Slowly I brought his lips back to mine only this kiss was slower and more romantic.

_God I need this._

As the kiss became more heated he pushed me hard against the wall. He buched up my shirt and I couldn't stop a smile.

_God I need you._

"What happened to just friends?"

"I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand that arse hole starring at you like that."

"Remind me to get you jealous more often Moony." 

Opened my mouth to chuckle and his tongue invaded. This was the first time I tasted his tongue in my mouth, felt it, sucked it. My knees gave a little but he caught me on the wall, holding me up by my wrists.

_It's been so long since I've been manhandled like this._

_Oh god I missed this. I want you to use me._

"Fuck me." His low growl shot straight to Sirius Jr.

I moaned into his soft, warm mouth.

He bit and sucked my neck.

_Oh god yes!_

"I want the whole restaurant to hear us. I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk straight." He left a trail of wet warm kisses as he moved back to my lips.

_This imagery was so hot._

"I want him to smell it on us."

_Oh fuck... Wait._

I pushed him back a little.

_I want you so bad but... I want it to be special... You deserve nothing less._

"Wait..." I left my eyes closed has a sinking feeling twisted in my stomach.

I opened my eyes.

_How do I word this._

"I want nothing more than to fuck you through that wall-"

"Then what's stopping you." He pupils were blown wide and pushed up against me again.

_You're so fucking hot._

I kept my hand at his chest.

"I like you. Remember?"

_Kinda a dick move but... Let him hurt just a little._

Sadness shot through his face and I felt sick.

_OK nope! Nope! Nope!_

"As a friend." He signed but I pulled him back to me, smiling close to his lips..

"I may have lied about that bit."

The light in his eyes came back.

"Wouldn't you want it to be... I don't know... More romantic and less.. Painful." I looked at him worried.

My first time wasn't... I'll never look at Dickson's the same again.

He laughed a little.

"I guess you're right."

He looked at the floor between us with a sigh. He stared for a moment before looking up at me just with his eyes. That intoxicating smile on his lips.

My heart lept and my cock twitched.

_Fuck me please..._

"But I can't leave you like this." He looked my in the eyes and firmly cupped my balls through my jeans. "That just won't be right." He pouted.

I moaned.

_Use me..._

"May I?" He gave me an evil smile.

"Be my guest." I smiled and pulled him into a slow, erotic kiss.

He had some trouble with my belt which I found adorable.

_You all nervous Moony baby?_

He stripped it from it's loops and yanked down my jeans and pants together. He looked at my dick in awe. He almost seemed to be overwhelmed. He'd seen it what... Three times now? I guess never like this. The tip so close to his lips. He's seen it hard but it's different when you know for a fact, you did this.

That's my favorite part about sex, knowing you filled your partner with lust, with want.

I worked so hard to hold back a laugh.

_You have no idea what you're doing do you? It's OK. As long as I have this mental image, your beautiful face so close to my cock, I'm the happiest man in the world._

I was panting as my imagination went wild.

_This is all I need. This moment right here._

I closed my eyes and felt a strong hand grip me. I reached down and pet his hair. I looked down to see his beautiful tongue run over the head. The tip was then serounded in a wet warmth. He pumped me and licked up the side of my cock.

"You taste so fucking good." I heard beneath me.

I bit my lip as I moaned. I guided him and he sucked me hard. I pushed to the back of his sweet throat and he chocked.

_Choke on that dick baby._

He sucked even harder. I moaned as he bobbed his head. I heard the sound of skin moving and saw him touching himself.

I shot down his throat.

I fell against the wall and pulled him into a deep kiss. I explored him mouth, licking all I could to taste myself in him.

He reached to touch my face. He looked at his hand. His load had shot all over his hand. He stared in thought.

_I got this baby._

I looked him in the eyes and smiled as I licked the spunk off of his hand.

Silent awe filled his face.

"Fuck."

I laughed into his shoulder. A happy spark shot through my body just from being close to him

"We've been gone for a while. Let's get your wallet and head back." I suggested.

"Oh... About that." he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his wallet.

_You sneaky horn dog!_

I was filled with pride and arousal.

_All this for me?_

"You little minx!" 

We laughed and snuck our way to the restrooms. I watched him clean up with the cutest smile on his face.

"What took so long?" Dorcas asked.

"Damn thing never opens when you want it to." I shook nonchalantly.

for the rest of dinner I felt Michael's eyes on me. I smiled thinking about 'my sweet baby Moony' and the beautiful memory of his sucking my dick like a pro!

I turned to him happily. He poked a finger into his food and sucked it off. He looked straight into my eyes, pools of amber flickering with joy. I felt butterflies.

_Even when you're being dirty baby; you're sweet as pie._

I bit my lip and winked at him. He sent shivers down my spine with his cute little laugh.

 We sat and talked for a while after diner. I still wanted to leave as soon as possible. Preferably with Moony.

"I'm gonna wait by the bike." I said to him.

_I got to get away from that dick bag as soon as possible._

I stood in front of my bike enjoying the fresh air until Michael came to ruin it.

"Hey." He smiled.

I ignored him.

"Long time no see."

"There's a reason for that." I murmmered still not looking at him.

 "You know if you want me to get jealous, you're going to have to do better than some dorky little twink." He said.

_Good god._

"Yeah... I'm not trying to make you jealous. Don't flatter yourself."

"Awww! Are you mentoring the little straight boy? How pathetic. What's the deal? He gets to experiment and you get your cock sucked?"

"Have you ever thought that I may actually like him?"

_A lot actually..._

He gave an evil laugh. My spine chilled remembering the dream.

"You mean like a 'relationship'? The only things you think about are fucking and nice ways to say, 'You should go now.'"

_'Babe. Are you still mad at me? I said I was sorry.' he sat next to me._

_I stared blankly ahead._

_I trusted you..._

_'We can work through this.'_

_'Monogamy goes both ways Michael!'_

_'I said I was sorry!'_

_'That doesn't just magically make everything OK!'_

_I thought you were the one._

_'I'm a pornstar Siri! I'm gonna sleep with other people!'_

_'Co-stars, friends, people we know! That's your job! Not pick up a stupid twink and fuck him in the club loo!'_

_I wasn't enough... I'm never enough._

_'Well, we don't do anything any more!'_

_'You're fucking kidding me!'_

_'You've turned into a stuck up old spinster!' He stood up._

_'We can work through this. A little at a time.' His voice low.he's on his knees in front of my fiddling with my fly._

_He looked me in the eyes._

_'I love you...'_

_No you don't! No one does! James is the only one who cares! No one else ever will. I'm a failure._

_Love is over rated. He taught me that._

_I fell for you. I never told you. I. stay closed._

_But now nothing matters..._

"'I don't do love.' You said that... How can you even care about anyone." Michael marched off.

I held back tears. I heard foot steps.

_Please don't tell me he saw..._

"OK! I'm..." Remus put a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just uh... Dumb shit. Can you maybe stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone." I pleaded.

"How could I say no to that face." He whispered and picked my cheek.

At the flat I drank, trying calm my nerves. Remus and I sat together on my bed

"I hate that fucking twat." my small buzz was kicking in.

"Don't say that! I love Sue Perkins! She's my favorite bake off host!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

_You make me so happy._

"Michael. God I hate him."

My nerves sparked as he touched me.

"Can I kiss you?"

He was taken back but kept rubbing my back.

"Um... I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"Sorry... I just... Kissing you always makes me feel better."

_I just want a hug... God I'm pathetic._

He smiled

"I would but you've been drinking and It wouldn't feel right."

_Really?!_

"I'm not drunk." I sat up ready to ace the challenge.

"I can prove it! Ask me anything!"

His silence made my slightly nervous.

"Spell your surname backwards."

_Oh yeah! I can do that!_

"K-C... Fuck! How do you spell it forwards!!! Damn it Moony why you gotta put me on the spot?!"

We laughed his hands on my face. His kiss made me feel safe, warm, sleepy.

My eyes were half closed when I fell on his shoulder.

"Sirius... I think I..." 

I felt fingers through my hair as I dozed off.

_Me too Moony..._


	10. Here We Go Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This continues from "What the Hell are We Doing?!"

"Tonight." I said

"Huh?"

"Tonight, at your place. I want a proper date."

"Hmmm." He leaned closer. I tried to fight back, but a small smile formed. "You drive a hard bargain Lupin." He bit his lip in a way that always drives me crazy.

"Get ready for the best meal of your life Mary Barry!" He hurriedly gathered his things as he held a toothy smile. "It's gonna knock your blazer off!"

I couldn't help but laugh, my body chilled as he looked at me

_Good god... Those fucking eyes!!_

"Ready. Set... Bake!" He started for the door.

He stopped just at the door and spun quickly around. He ran to me and tilted my head and place a gental kiss on my lips.

_I could live off of your kisses._

When he broke a looked at him puzzled.

"Can't bake without a little sugar." He winked.

_Oh god..._

"You're a dork. You know that right?"

He smiled and winked as he ran out the door.

Well... I guess he was never just "Being nice".

I blushed as he ran out the door with the dopiest smile on his face. The girls from the park were a few tables away and were the only ones paying attention. I made eye contact with one of the girls. She gave me a thumbs up. I laid my head down on the table as they giggled, hiding my red cheeks and embarrassed but happy grin.

°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°

_Okay so I just have to... wait.... what?!_

I sat at my computer at my dorm.

_Fill the bottle until 90% full._

I glanced at the "hot water bottle and syringe kit" I grabbed from the shop on my way home from class. I looked on Reddit, Tumblr, and Wiki How on the logistics and processes of anal sex. I was grossed out a little at first.

_I mean, people wouldn't do it if it wasn't worth it right? just try not to think about it too much._

I have always been a researcher. If I was about to do something for the first time and wanted to do well. I know it may seem a little extensive but I'd prefer to know what I'm getting into with some things.  
  
_Or what's getting into me in this case._

I wasn't sure why I expected us to have sex that night. I guess I was just curious. I wanted to see how different it felt compared to being with a woman, also it would be with Sirius. I would have sex with Sirius. It's literally his job to fuck and be fucked! Of course he is going to be safe and slow, and hopefully forgiving.

_Where would I even start? Well foreplay, of course, just try not to get all awkward this time. then prep? How do I do that?_

_How to..._

_How to..._

_How to word this insanely uncomfortable question?_

'how to prep for anal sex?' is the phrasing I went for.

'There are several ways to prep yourself and or your partner for anal sex. These include anal fingering, rimming, or the use of toys.' Each option had a link. The first one and the last one we're pretty self-explanatory.

_What's rimming?_

I searched the term for a definition.

'Rimming is the act of licking or penetrating your partner's anus with your tongue.'

_Good God! How on Earth could that be enjoyable?! Well, maybe from the receiver, but what about the giver? Good God, I don't know if I can do this. Well... Maybe Sirius isn't into that._

_Maybe there's a way that I can find out?_

Begrudgingly, I Googled 'Sirius Black' and tried to find an interview on him and what he likes.

_That seems like a thing that they do a lot, an interview with the star. See what they're into._

I clicked on the video 'Introducing Sirius Black'

"So this is Sirius." The cameraman sounded like he was in his mid-30s. Sirius waved cheerfully at the camera. He was slightly younger than he is now.

_He's so cute it hurts!_

I couldn't erase the dorky smile on my face.

"You've been with us for how long?" Sirius smiled, his legs crossed underneath him. He looked at the ceiling thinking.

"Four years?" he asked himself. "Yep!" he smiled back at the camera.

"Do you like having a coaster or going solo? I mean your popularity doesn't change either way. People still wank to you."

Sirius laughed.

"I'm not sure. I'm fine either way." He shrugged woth a smile.

"What kind of things are you into?"

I leaned more towards the screen as I started taking mental notes.

"Well... I don't know. " he blushed.

"Anything kinky? Bdsm, collars, felching?"

Sirius cringed at the last one.

"A little of the first two. I've thought about the last one, because I love a good rimming, but, I may try it with the right guy." He answered.

_What's felch... Nevermind. Judging by his reaction, I don't want to now right now._

"Do you like romance or dirty talk?" The camera man clarified.

"I like romance sometimes, but I loved to be talked dirty to." He laughed with a big blush on his face.

I smirked at the screen.

_That sounds nice. I'm going to have to give that a try._

"What is your ideal sexual encounter?"

I turned up the computer to make sure I heard every word perfectly.

_If we do have sex tonight, I want it to be amazing. He deserves it for all he's been through, and putting up with my dorky ass._

"Oh god... I never thought about that." He closed his eyes and went silent for a moment.

"I guess we'd start by snogging, of course. We'd slowly move to bed room, I'd climb on top of him. Feel the heat of his body as we ripped each others clothes off." His face was the epitome of total bliss. His description made my cock twitch at the imagery.

"He'd pin me down," he rubbed himself through is trousers. "He'd flip me over," his voice got lower and more breathy. "He'd rim me to the point that couldn't talk. Then he'd fuck me so hard I scream."

I exited the video. I was getting really hard, and for some reason it didn't feel right to wank to one of his videos, without his permission.

_Ok, if I'm gonna be ready on time, I have to start now._

I headed the bathroom with my contraption.

5:00pm

I hung the red bottle on the shower head. Laying down in the tub on top of my favorite fluffy towel, I set my timer for 15 minutes. My gaze caught on the tipped hose, shiny with lube. I took a deep breath.

_Okay Remus... Just close your eyes... And think of England._

  
°°°°°°°°♡°°°°°°°°

When the time came, I was so nervous, I walked right past Carlos in the lobby. I caught his glare as I walked by.

I walked up to Sirius's door and raised my hand to knock when...

_Wait. Should I've buzzed up? I don't think he would mind... What if he's not ready? I don't want to stress him out... Maybe I should go back down._

I looked at phone to check the time.

_Well... Maybe I can text and ask?_

I looked at the door and with a deep breath, I texted.

Sirius

R: Hey

Three dots.

S: Hey sexy ;)

I rolled my eyes but still smiled.

R: Do I have to talk to Carlos before I head up to your flat? I think he hates me.

I heard a loud laugh come from somewhere distant in the flat.

S: It's OK Moony. He hates everyone. You can just come on up.

I smirked into my phone. It faded when I realized.

_What if he thinks I'm weird?! I've been standing outside his door for twenty minutes. God that's so creepy... I need help._

I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head.

"Good god." I said.

"No. It's just me."

I looked up to a smiling face. I bit the inside of my lip to hide my embarrassment. He looked really nice. He wore a plain black button up with black trousers. He was wearing a pair of black convers that seemed to fit the outfit well. His curly black hair was pulled up in a semi-messy bun that allowed a few rogue curls to frame his beautiful, smiling face.

_I have no idea how long I've been starring... Do I have to stop?_

I groaned internally as I smiled back.

"Hey."

"Hello Mr. Lupin," he started with his smooth silky voice. "Your table is ready." He bowed as he pulled the door wider to let me walk through. I couldn't help but laugh.

The flat looked as if it'd just been clean. It was always clean, but this was spotless. He rushed ahead of me and pulled out my chair. Well, stool. He had put a white runner I've the middle of the island, placing a stool on either side. In front of the stools, on the island, were place mats, wrapped silverware, two whine glasses, and a tall whit candle in the middle. The lights were low but still enough to see clearly.

_Wow... Just... Wow._

I felt a dorky smile on my face as I sat down.

"Thank you sir." I smiled at him.

He nodded with a smile of his own and walked to the counter behind me to grab our plates that held rice, noddles and beef. He put my plate in front of me and sat his plate down on his side, taking a seat on his stool.

"Dinner is severed." He winked at me.

I smiled and shook my head.

_You're such a dork._

Before eating I starred at his outfit again.

"You know? I don't think I've seen you dress so formal. Honestly, I feel very under dressed."

I looked down at my white tee, jeans, and yellow cardigan lily gave me last Christmas.

"Do you not like it?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"No... I didn't mean..." I stammered and recovered from my awkwardness with a smile. "I think you look very handsome tonight Mr. Black."

_Are... Are you blushing darling?_

"You always look handsome." He blurted out.

He cleared his throat. He avoided my eyes like a school boy with a crush. My heart warmed. He looked around the room awkwardly until he spotted the empty whine glasses.

"Aw! Yes! I almost forgot. Padfoot?!" He called and made a show of clapping his hands beside his face.

I heard little trit trot noises from the bedroom. The big shaggy fuzzy ball happily marched over to me and sat down, nudgeing the hand on my lap for pets. His usually black studded collar was switched for a white cloth one, complete with a little bow tie.

"Hi baby!" I turned and pet him. Sirius looked around the table very confused.

"Where is it Pads?" Padfoot marched over to him and whined with his head on Sirius's lap.

Sirius rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile and made is way to the bedroom. Padfoot jogged to me for another round of pets. Sirius returned with a bottle of wine. He held it by the neck and at the bottom. He turned the lable towards me like they would at a fancy restaurant. I didn't read it. I just nodded. He began to pour some into my glass when Padfoot nudged him and he spilled a little on the runner. He quickly sat the bottle at the edge of the table.

"Shite!" He whispered and ran to grab a paper towel.

I chuckled a little. He wiped up the wine, pour another glass, and sat down finally.

"Dig in." His smile seemed tense and I held his hand across the island.

"You didn't have to do any of this you know?"

He squeezed my hand back.

"I just wanted it to perfect. I wanted to prove that I'm serious."

I waited but he didn't seem to notice. I smirked.

"But that's what I like about you. You're always Sirius."

He laughed and smiled at me. He nodded and the gestured to the food.

_Wow... This is good! A little cold but that's fine... OK that piece is a little chewy, still good._

I took a bite of a piece of meat that seemed to absorb all of the spices. It burnt my tongue and I started to cough. I covered my mouth with my napkin and tried to hold it back. In the blink of an eye Sirius was behind me pounding my back. I stopped long enough to take a sip of wine and regulate my breathing.

"You ok?" Sirius asked very concerned.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I answered horsly.

He leaned over me and looked me in the eyes.

_Ok... Ok... 1... 2... 3._

I tried to kiss him on the lips but missed and caught the corner of his mouth.

_Shit._

I felt myself blush. He smiled at me and kissed me slow and sweet. I opened my eyes when we broke.

_Get the fuck back here._

I quickly moved my hand to the back of his head and brought him back to me, kissing him deeply. We broke panting.

"I'm not really hungry for Asian food." I said close to his lips.

"I can cook something else." He whispered back.

I shook my head.

"Oh!" I heard him gasp.

_You can be so cute sometimes._

"What do you say, we take this and..." I grabbed the middle of the bottle and felt something sticky. "What the hell?"

He looked at me confused as I wiped my hand off on the runner.

"The bottle is sticky." I said.

He looked at the bottle and something clicked. He turned to padfoot.

"You little twat!"

Padfoot smiled and wagged his tail. Sirius wiped the bottle off on a napkin.

"It's peanut butter."

"Huh?"

"I put peanut butter on it so Padfoot would roll it over with his nose. Bastard must have licked it all off while I wasn't looking."

I couldn't help but laugh.

_AW! That would have been so cute! With his little baby nose rolling it to the table, and the little baby bow tie..._

I smiled at Sirius and stood up in front of him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slow and deep.

"Do you think we could?" I whispered motioning my head to the bed room.

He pupils were getting wider as he looked at me.

"Are you sure?" He asked breathlessly.

"Yeah. Do you wa-"

"I have been thinking about this since the day I met you." He interrupted. "You don't have to ask me twice."

"You've fantasized about me?"

"... That's kinda creepy isn't it?"

"Well..." I smiled and pulled him closer. "It should be... But." I leaned in so our lips brushed together with each word. "I think it's kinda hot."

I cocked an eyebrow at him and bit my lip.

_Really, really, fucking hot._

He kissed me, letting his tongue slide into my mouth. I melted in his arms and couldn't hold back my moan as he caught me by placing his knee between my legs. When I regained my balance, I walked him towards the bedroom. I sat down when I felt the backs of my knees hit the edge and he climbed into my lap, never letting our lips part. With his thighs on either side of my hips, he pushed me back and pined me to the bed. Our fingers laced together above my head as we kept kissing.

_I knew it'd be different with a guy but damn! His body is sharp edges but still smooth like a painting. He's forceful but also caring and gental. He's quick and rough too... I never thought I'd like that but... God, he's so fucking sexy._

The last thought popped in my head as I watched him take his shirt off over his head and throw it across the room. I sat up before he could pin me again.

_I want to feel your body. Your smooth flawless skin. The whisps of hair on your chest..._

I let my fingers move over the ridges of his abs. I wanted to commit every part of his body to memory.

_I may never get to do this again._

I didn't realize how awestruck I was until I looked up and saw the soft smile on Sirius's face as he watched me. I think I... Growled? Or something like that as I grabbed his shoulder with one hand and his perfect arse this the other. He moaned into my mouth as we kissed again and the vibrations went straight to my dick. He looked at me. I was so hypnotized by his eyes that I didn't realize what he was doing.

_My shirt... My scars!_

I grabbed his wrist quickly, scaring both him and myself.

"I'm uh... I'm sorry." I stammered. "Could I maybe, keep this on?"

He smiled and brushed my hair behind my ear.

"What ever makes you comfortable Moony."

"You make me comfortable." I blurted out. I shook my head at myself.

_Really?! 'You make my comfortable'?! What the fuck Lupin?!_

He chuckled and kissed me again. Slow and sweet at first but it became heated very quickly.

"One second." he smiled, jumped off of my lap and ran to the night stand at the head of the bed.

I moved up the bed towards the head board. The only light in the room came from the dimly lit living room. He had put something on the night stand and began digging around for something else.

"Shit." He whispered.

He turned and saw me lounging back on my fore arms.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He turned to me in the dark. He had something between his teeth as he crawled on top of me, straddling my hips. I felt some kind of wrapping touch my lips and I opened to accept.

_OK Lupin... This is it._

I held the condom between my teeth. He smiled at me.

"Put that on and I'll be right back." He winked and headed out of the room.

_Wait... Me? What?!_

"Um."

He turned in the doorway to look at me.

"Moony. Don't tell me you've never used a condom before." He leaned against the frame and playfully tisked.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. "No! I have. I just thought that you were going to... You know." I held up the condom in my hand.

"Are you not a top?" He seemed fairly confused.

_Oh, I never thought about that._

"What are you?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I'm your typical bottom, but, if you want I could give it a-"

I cut him off. "No no that's fine! I'm just going... To you know... Do this. Take your time. I'll be here." I smiled awkwardly and then shut my eyes as if I were in pain.

_I'm so sorry I don't know why I'm so nervous._

He smiled and walked back over to me. "It's okay Moony you stay here. Put that on. I'll be right back; and I can teach you."

His smile was predatorial as he kissed me and then dashed out of the room.

I stared at the foil wrapper in my hand.

_Do I really look that pathetic? I don't want to be treated like some scared little virgin. I know what I'm doing. I'm not an idiot. He probably just thinks that he's helping. I mean for god sakes, you've never done this before, he does it for a living. But maybe you can show him a few things._

I smiled at that thought. Putting the condom back on the nightstand, I opened up my shirt and threw it across the room revealing the wife beater I had underneath

_I really don't think he'd appreciate the buttons I know I wouldn't._

I then removed my trousers leaving me in baby blue pants. I sat and waited for him to return. He swung into the room smiling ear to ear. He had a small bottle in his hand and at some point, removed his jeans and now walked around in his galaxy cat boxers.

"Found it." He chimed.

I chuckled. "Classy." I gestured to his boxers.

He quickly made his way over to me and swung my legs back up on the bed.

"Did you put it on?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No. I thought maybe you could do it that's hot right?" I cringed at my own words.

He soothed my mind with a warm dirty smile and sat the lube next to the condom before turning back to me.

"Very." he whispered, laying back on top of me and kissing me as he did before.

_Let's turn this around in 1... 2... 3!_

I grabbed his waist and rolled off to the side so that I was on top of him. He stared at me in shock as I pinned him by his wrists.

"You may be a professional; but I have some tricks of my own." I whispered close to his lips, making sure that my hot breath touched him with every syllable. With a straight face, I winked at him and began kissing and sucking down his body.

He writhed underneath me in the most beautiful way. I kissed over to his left nipple and wrapped my lips around it, allowing my tongue to swirl. I looked up and saw he was watching me with hooded lids. I smiled and mirrored my actions on the right one.

I let my tongue trail down his body, all the way to the waistband of his boxers. I ran my hands up his legs and pulled down his pants, revealing his beautifully hard willy.

_OK Remus. I know you want it but, just hold off. Tease him a little._

I kissed the junction between his thigh and his crotch. From there I kissed everywhere but where he wanted. I could tell from the moans of pleasurable frustration he had a hard time holding back. I smiled at my achievment.

I scooted off to the side and roll him onto his stomach he laughed as he landed with an oomph.

_We can't have that now, can we?_

I ran my hand over his soft right ass cheek, reared my hand back just a little, and then slapped it nice and hard. He moaned and stuck his ass up in the air. I pushed it down.

"One of these days you'll learn not to laugh at me." I told him as kissed down his shoulder blade to the middle of his back.

"What are you doing back there Moony?" He chuckled.

"Nothing." I said innocently

"It doesn't feel like nothing." I could hear his smile.

I kissed down to his perky arse and nibbled on the left cheek. I heard a gasp escape him as he tried to move back into my face. I licked the small red spot I had left.

_I love the feeling of your soft skin between my teeth baby. Is that creepy?_

I thought as I made the spot bigger by sucking on it. He moaned and I smiled.

I gently rubbed my hands on both of his cheeks, slow and long. I felt him squirm for about a minute before I spread them a part with my thumbs. I looked at the pink divit in the middle.

_It looks like it's breathing... Ugh! That imagery!_

I shook my head to bring back my focus. My head lowered and I ran my tongue across his tight little hole. He moaned in a way I had never heard before. Loud, his breath caught in he throat as he muttered.

"Oh fuck!"

"I've never heard you be so loud." I said smiling and making sure that he could feel my breath on him.

"Well you see Moony, it's difficult for a man to control his volume when he's being rimmed within an inch of his life." He seemed out of breath then slowly tried to push back into me.

"Do you want me to stop then baby?"

"Moony I swear to God, if you stop, I will smother you with my ass cheeks."

_Is that supposed to be a threat? Sounds kind of fun to me. I feel I should be bothered by the thought._

"And they say Marlene is the kinky one. You may be able to give her a run for her money baby." I laughed and ran my tongue across him as I did before.

_I wonder if I..._

I close my eyes and slipped my tongue inside of him. It wasn't bad like I thought it would be. It didn't really taste like anything, just felt smooth and warm. I felt a twitch in my pants as I thought how it would feel wrapped around my cock.

I was distracted and didn't notice that he was rocking back into my face.

I moved with him and moved my tongue around as it fucked him.

_Oh god! Those fucking moans! So beautiful._

I tried to pulled away just a little but his hand pushed my face back into his sweet ass.

"Oh fuuuuck! Harder Moony."

He held me there but I stopped. He noticed and took his hand away.

"I'm sorry... I just." He stuttered.

_I don't take orders... I give them._

I know I looked evil because Sirius's 'innocent' eyes stared at me.

_Not today. Maybe later._

I nodded and reached for the lube. I smeared it on my middle finger and started to tease his hole with the tip of the digit. His breath quickened as I reached the first knuckle. I moved in and out a little. As I quickened I quickly lubed another finger and slipped it in all the way.

"Oh god!" He moaned burying his face in his pillow.

"Do you like that baby?" I smiled. "Do you like when I finger you?" I spread them.

He moaned again. "Yes, fuck yes Moony."

_Almost there baby. Just a little longer._

When I felt he was open enough I pulled my fingers out slowly. He moaned at my teasing. I smiled and got on my knees, reaching over to put on the condom and apply the lube. When I looked up he had rustled onto his back. He pulled me on top of his body and kissed me. His legs were on either side of me. My dick rubbed the bottom of his balls and teased his ass crack.

"Fuck me moony. Please fuck me." He pushed back into me as he begged breathlessly.

I grabbed his hips to hold him still for a moment

_God damn it Remus! It's not that difficult!_

I was shaking has I tried to position myself. I pushed the tip into him slowly. The moan he let out as I pushed in almost sent me over.

_Holy shit... This is the best feeling ever! Like... Like warm velvet wrapped around me._

I froze. The new sensation was so much, if I moved anymore I'd lose it.

"Oh fuck... you feel so fucking good." I fell over him and nuzzled his neck.

His arms wrapped around me and he licked and sucked my earlobe. "You feel amazing Moony. I've wanted you in me, just like this, for so long."

_Oh god stop! Or... Don't stop. I don't know... Jesus._

His dirty words were driving me crazy as I lay still on top of him.

"Um..." I tried to hide my breathlessness, along with growing embarrassment. "I'm afraid to move."

"Don't worry Moony, you won't hurt me."

"No I'm not worried about that... Well, yes, but..." I stuttered way too hard. The stimulations were consuming me.

"If I move, I'm not going to last long." I confessed. I wrapped my arms under his thin frame and held him close while I nibbled his neck. "I want this to last as long as possible. I want more of this feeling. I want you to be so sore tomorrow. I want you to feel me in you."

Sirius pulled me back gently until I was facing him.

"I have an idea." He pushed my shoulders slightly and sat back on my knees, regrettably pulling out.

He pulled me by my shoulders, shuffling me to a sitting postion at the side edge of the bed. He was standing a few meters in front of me with that sexy smile and nudfed me to lean back on my hands. I watched him as he slowly moved his hips to music that I couldn't hear. He walked up and straddled me as before but aligned his ass with my erection. He spread his cheeks and llower himself onto me, soon letting gravity do the rest.

"Oh fuuuuck." I moaned out.

I looked at his flushed smiling cheeks. He began to grind his hips against mine.

"Fuck you feel so good." He whispered. "I've wanted this for so long."

"How on earth did you cope?" I smiled trying to distract myself so I could last as long as possible.

"Let's just say, since the day I met you, my vibrator has gotten quite the work out."

_I never thought about a guy using one of those. I see how that could work. Him laying there, wanking with one hand while the other pushes the quaking object in and out of his slick, lubed hole._

_But then he finishes. My name on his plump red lips. Oh fuck!_

I reached over to grab the lube and put more on my hand and started to pump him. I started slow but picked up as he breathed faster. I wanted him to come first or shortly after me.

_God I'm fucking close..._

I started to thrust up and trying different angles until.

He gasped and pulled my face into his cheast as I continued thrusting in the same spot.

"Moony! Right there... I'm gonna..." his breath hitched and I felt his hot spunk through my shirt as it painted my stomach.

His body was closing around me and I came shortly after, moaning deep into his mouth as we shared a sloppy kiss.

We stayed, with him in my lap, for a while. Both of us were breathing hard. My guess is that the condom got uncomfortable, he lifted himself off of me and threw the condom in the bin next to the bed. He crawled to the head of the bed and layed down. I followed. He layed facing each other, both struggleing to stay awake. I was so tired and full of bliss, I didn't realize we were holding hands until I was able to open my eyes.

_I wish I had a picture of this._

_The camera pans up to see his naked body slowly breathing. A zoom in is on our hands has it pans over to me, sticky and half naked, but staring in awe of the masterpiece laying infront of me._

He scooted closer and opened his eyes as he nuzzled my nose.

"So... Was that good?" I couldn't think of anything else to say.

He chuckled. "Fucking brilliant." He gave me a lazy kiss. I smiled and kissed back.

Stillness again.

"So... What now?"

He chuckled again. "I was going to have a shower, in which you may join me, then I don't know. What do you want to do?"

_Oh god. How do I word this with sounding like a dork?_

"Well," I started. "I was thinking I could... hold you." I could feel my face heat up.

"Always the romantic Moony." He pecked my lips.

"I like that idea. I'll only take a moment. Keep the bed warm for me?"

I nodded. He slowly crawled out of bed as if he didn't want to leave.

_What if he doesn't come back?_

_Why would that happen Remus, this is his flat._

_What if he changes his mind and wants me to leave?_

_Stop being so fucking paranoid!_

About ten minutes later he was back. His hair was dry which I was thankful for.

_I'm not the biggest fan of cold wet hair._

He crawled back into bed and snuggled has closely as possible to me. His warmed gave me butterflies as I kissed his head.

"Goodnight Moony." I heard him whisper.

"Goodnight sweetheart." I felt him smile and snuggle impossibly closer.

 _Do you like when I call you sweet names sweetheart? I do. Only I can call you that._   _Just so you know;_

_You re mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray! I finally got an update! Sorry it took so long I've been working on this one for like 2 months... I'm actually really proud of this chapter it turned out really good XD. I won't be able to post for a while because of work and things, but, I figured I'd give you this chapter as kind of a wrap up. There is more to come I promise. I'm coming up with chapters for this everyday.
> 
> Enjoy my darlings!


	11. The One Where Everyone Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> D: Has anyone else noticed Rem being bitchy?
> 
> P: I wasn't going to say anything.
> 
> L: I hope he's ok.
> 
> D: I forgot one am tired of his shit! 
> 
> L: Maybe we should do something.

I sat at the edge of his bed at 4am. He slept so peacefully. The beautiful pale skin of his back, shinning in the moon light. The only sound in the room was his steady breathing.

_He's so perfect._

I let a smile spread across my face.

_No! No! We have to leave._

I nodded to myself and finished putting on my boots.

_Get out... Before he wakes up._

"Moony?" I heard from behind me as I got up to walk towards the door.

"Hey." I whispered, hoping he was just talking in his sleep.

"What are you doing? It's so early." He opened his eyes and looked over at the clock.

_Fuck_

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I hoped to sneak out before you woke up." I worded that so wrong.

Even in his sleepy eyes, I could see the hurt.

_Fuck... Fuck fuck fuck!_

"Oh." His voice quivered.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." He spat and curled into a sad ball.

_No, honey. This isn't what it looks like._

I sat back on the bed next to him. I tried to rub his back but he scooted away.

"Permission to come back later?" I asked.

He turned to me and I saw water in his eyes.

"Stay. Please."

I gave him a worried smile.

"I have to get my books from my dorm."

"At 4am?"

"I have some homework to do before class."

"You told me you finished it yesterday."

"I need to grab clean clothes."

"Borrow something of mine. Or I can drive you."

"Then my car would be here."

"I'd pick you up after class."

"I-"

"Stop." He sat straight up. He glared at me and through my bullshit.

"What's going on?" He wrapped his naked body into the warm blanket and reached out for my hand.

_Just tell him you prick._

"No one knows." I confessed with a sigh. "About me. About us."

His face softened and morphed into a panic.

"I kissed you! In front of all of those people yesterday! Oh god moony! I'm so sorry."

_Oh fuck! Wait... Who was there?_

_No one I care about or I'd remember._

"They were strangers." I added after calming my nerves. "I meant my friends. I mean, I know they'll be ok with it but it's just..." I could look him in the eyes.

"Scary?" He asked. I nodded, not looking up from the bed.

"The last thing I want is to push you to do something you're not ready for." He gently squeezed my hand. A sympathetic sadness over his face, as if he were waiting for me to call it quits.

"We need to be careful."

Sirius's sad look was replaced with a look more, mischievous.

"So like sneak around?" He got on all fours and crawled so he could kiss, lick, bite my neck.

"Fuck in secret? Toss you off in a public loo? Blow you from under your desk? A quick shag in a cupboard?" Licks and bites alternated across my neck as he listed all the dirty things he wanted to do to me.

_Even when I'm in a slight panic, you make me so fucking horny._

I ran my fingers through his silky hair. He brought sounds from me I didn't know I could make, just from his kisses.

"That does sound kinda hot." I said breathlessly. "But I just mean like... Strategic." I pushed him back to look him in the eye. "Or..." I looked down again. "If you don't want to do this... At all... Anymore... I understand."

He lifted my chin and kissed me gently and quietly. When we parted he attacked me in a hug

"No." He mumbled against my skin. He sounded almost child like. "No. My moony."

I laughed. "Do you not like that option sweetheart?" I felt him shake his head.

I leaned back to look at him.

"So I can come back later?" I asked.

"Only if you stay now." He stared worryingly at me lips.

"Hmmm I don't know." I smiled and teased.

"Would you stay for a blowie?"

_There's a smile._

"Well, can't argue with that can I?"

We smiled and kissed soft and sweet... At first. I fell asleep after Sirius had promptly sucked the life out of me and vise versa.

5:00 am

When I woke up and looked at the clock next

7:30am

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!_

I threw my clothes on, kissed a sleeping Sirius goodbye and left a note.

_See you tonight_

_Moony_

I drove to campus, grabbed a coffee and wondered into class, just in time.

7:50am

I had a weird burst of energy.

_Guess morning blowies will do that for ya._

I laughed at my joke and walked up the steps to sit next the Peter. He was listening to something for class so I left him alone as he scribbled note with head phones in his ears.

The two girls you sit diagonal to us, Jac and Jess, were giggleing quietly about something. Jess's pale face was beet red and her bleach blonde hair stood out because of it. Jac was blushing as well, she struggled to pull back her red curly bob as she shook from laughter.

"He messaged me last night about it." I heard Jess. "They were at it for hours."

"Hours?! My boyfriends last like 5 minutes and are out like a light." Jac laughed.

My eyes moved to the door as I saw Adam walk in. He looked so tired and just done with everything.

"Did'ja sleep well?" Jac asked wiggleing her eyebrows.

Adam shot her a wide eyed look.

"Oh my god." He mouthed before walking up to them and spinning a chair to face them.

"I mean, I'm not mad or anything because he's sweet and nice and kind and deserves all the love and puppies but oh my god!"he whispered loudly.

"How long last night?" Jess asked.

Adam counted on his fingers and gave up at 8.

"Too fucking long... Then again at 4 in the morning!"

I couldn't help but listen, granted they weren't really trying to hide it.

The three laughed and Adam shook his head.

"I'm not even mad though. They can keep at it all they want but jeez!" He laughed. "But with the shit he's been through, Sirius deserves a happy relationship."

_Wait... What?!_

I froze but tried not to draw any attention to myself.

"Did you hear the other guy?" Jac leaned in smiling.

_Oh God._

"No actually."

_Thank god._

"But I lost track of how many times Sirius moaned 'Moony'."

_Fuck me..._

I fell into a silent panic, as Jac and Jess awed at the nickname.

"But it's totally justifiable." Adam continued. "Because, and I quote, 'It's kinda hard to control your volume when you're being rimmed within an inch of your life.'"

I was able to swallow my coffee... Before breaking into a coughing fit.

The three turned towards me in concern.

"I-I-I'm f-f-fine." I coughed out.

"What's rimmed?" I heard Peter beside me and I jumped.

"You OK?" Adam asked. I nodded, still coughing and now wanted to hide under my desk.

Adam nodded and turned to Peter when my breath evened out.

"Oh! Peter, rimming is when you ea-"

"Good morning everyone." Professor McGonagall walked in just in time. She made her way to her desk and started unpacking her things.

I couldn't pay attention to class.

_Does he know it's me?_

_He just said he didn't._

_What if he sees me with Sirius?_

_You can be friends, Adam won't know. He doesn't even know you know him._

How much did Pete hear though? Over his music.

_The mans practically deaf so probably nothing._

Before I knew it, lecture was over. I sighed and felt like I let out I breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You OK?" Peter asked. I jumped out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, just need something from my dorm. See you later yeah?"

"Yeah." Peter backed up and left "Cheers." He waved goodbye.

I put on a fake smile and waved back.

_I have to talk to Sirius._

I rushed back to my room and locked the door.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" I yell- whispered to myself. I stared at my phone on my bed. I quickly grabbed it and dialed while pacing my room.

"Pick up. Pick up please." I begged.

I heard the phone pick up.

"Hello?" A tired and confused voice answered.

"Sirius! Listen! I- oh.." I stopped for a moment. "Did I wake you?"

"Yeah, but I need to get up anyway." He stretched with a hiss of pain.

"Are you OK?" I asked concerned.

His low chuckle set chills down my spine.

"Yeah, just a little sore." I could hear his smile.

"From what?" My painiced mind took over.

Another laugh.

"Mmm... I was shagged silly last night by this bloke. He was drop dead gorgeous Moony."

I felt I tinge of jealousy.

_Who is this man?! I'll kill him?!_

_But wait, when could this have happened? He was with..._

"Oh," my brain clicked. "... Was he any good?"

"So good Moony. I'm deliciously sore." He pouted.

"Are you now-" I stopped my playing. "No! I called you for a reason. An important reason!"

I heard him shuffle and hiss as he sat up.

"What is it?"

I took a deep breath

"You know your neighbor Adam?"

"Of course. Wait... How do you know him?"

"We have lecture together."

"Huh, small world."

"He heard us." I said quickly.

Silence.

"Last night and this morning."

"... Oh god. Oh god moony. I'm so sorry."

He was, I could tell. It wasn't his fault though, it was mine. Mine for being scared, being a coward.

_Just tell them! They're fine with Meadows and Marlene! Why not you? You still like girls too which is more acceptable._

_OK, tell them. Tell Lily, Meadows, Mar, Pete, mum and dad... Mum and dad._

My I felt water fill my eyes.

_What if... What if they hate me?_

_They've never really been religious or anything like that. Mum was a hippy for God's sake! It'll be fine._

_But... But what if it's not_.

"Moony? Moony honey, are you alright?"

Sirius brought me back and I realized I was sniffing and crying.

"What if it's not alright?" My brain took over my mouth.

"What if what's not alright?" Sirius's voice rose with worry. "What's going on?"

"What if they hate me? Wha-wha-what if they wouldn't love me anymore?"

_Shut up you prick!_

"Who? Who are you talking about?"

I took a lot of deep breaths to steady my voice.

"Everyone." I answered. "What if they don't like me anymore?"

I heard a sad sigh on the other end.

"Oh honey. No. No. No. That won't happen. You'll always have Lily and Peter, Marlene and Dorcas."

I covered my mouth trying to quiet the sobs.

"And me darling. You'll always have me."

_Re- really?_

I smiled through my tears.

"Thank you Si-Sirius. That means a lot."

"Good. We'll be super careful, take a break if you want."

"Would that be OK? I mean, I don't want to, but it'd be best." I had calmed down enough to speak without stuttering.

"Moony. I've waited forever for you to give into my charm and agree to be with me. And I'd wait forever more." I could clearly hear his smile over the phone. "You OK now?"

I nodded, my face still wet from tears but smiling all the same.

Silence.

"Wait? Did you just nod?"

I froze.

"Fuck! I did." We both broke into laughter. "Yeah, I'm OK now. I'll talk to you later."

I hung up the phone feeling a lot better but still had a strange tinge in my gut.

I was able to handle the lack of contact for a couple weeks. We still talked on the phone and interviewed through Skype but there was still a nail deep in my stomach. I could kinda control it but I started to feel testy and irritable.

In the middle of the third week I realized the problem.

My body ached for him.

If I could've worded it any other way I would

Sirius Black was a hard drug. I started to feel the aches and pains of withdrawal.

After my classes one day,

3:30 pm

I hopped on my bed and grabbed my phone and dialed Sirius.

"Hello." He said.

_God I love your voice._

"Knock knock." I started

"Who's there?"

"Moony."

"Moony who?"

I scoffed.

"Moony who?! What do you mean Moony who?" A cheeky laugh came from the other end. "Is there another Moony in your life?! I'll kill the bastard!" I said with a light chuckle.

"Awww, is Moony jealous?"

I blushed super hard at he smooth teasing voice.

"A bit. How was work?"

He groaned.

"They gave me ANOTHER new guy. Like, I don't mind fresh meat once in a while,but it's every shoot lately. I'm a professional pornstar, not a fucking babysitter!" He griped, with good reason.

I knew it was his job so I told him I wouldn't mind him working with costars again. I secretly did but his work was running thin and I knew it, he denied it every time though.

"Wait..." I was met with silence. "You're not a babysitter?! Fuck! That's what my project is over. Damn it!" I smiled.

"Hardy har har har." He retorted.  
"How's school?"

"OK. Just a fuck ton of projects and shit. The showcase is coming up! I going to submit because there is a prize of an internship with a big Studio in downtown London. I don't know if I want to take some new pieces or an old piece of Lily or something."

"That's awesome!" I heard him shuffle and sit up. "If you need a subject, I'm always here."

I laughed.

"Would you be clouthed?" I joked.

"Not if you don't want me to be."

_You always make me blush when you flirt with me._

"Hmmm. I like that idea. It'd also be an excuse to see you." I added shyly.

"When can I see you again?"

"I can Skype you now if-"

"No. I mean in person." He almost whined.

I went quiet.

"And why would you want that?"

"Because I miss you."

"Hmmm. What do you miss about me?" I asked laying back in my bed. I felt my voice fall deep as I spoke.

"I miss your smile, your laugh, your honey gold eyes.." He mocked in a dreamy voice.

"You ruined it." I laughed.

"There it is." I heard his bright smile through the phone.

"Dick." I laughed.

"I miss that too." He whispered as if he was try not to be heard, but didn't care if he was.

"You always thinking about cock? Oh no, let me get my surprise face on." I joked.

"Well... Just yours."

My breath hitched.

"Why... Why is that?" I ask not really quite sure what to say.

"What do mean why Moony?" His voice dropped to a smooth sexy tone.

_Oh fuck, please keep talking._

"You make me so hot." I could hear him smirk. "How else am I supposed to get warmed up for work?"

"You... You think about me?" I was so dumbfounded.

_All the guys you work with are gods. You think about me when they fuck you?!_

"What's the story?" I don't think I'd ever heard myself say it out loud. I was met with confused silence.

"What?" He chuckled lightly.

"Oh fuck! Sorry. That's... A thing I say." I explained.

"I've never heard you say that."

"Well... It's namely to myself. It's how I organize my shoots."

"Oooh! Revealing your secret." He laughed.

"Not really." I chuckled back.

I heard him shuffling and landing with a huff.

"So, what does that mean though?"

I smirked. "Oh honey. If I told you that I'd have to kill you."

A melodramatic gasp answered me.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Lupin. I had no idea." He fake swooned.

We both laughed for a minute. The laughter died and then silence fell.

"I meant, how do you think about me? What do I do?"

"Well," he started lowly. "When I'm not imaging you're the one fucking me, you watch."

I felt a spike at the idea of someone else fucking him. But, he was imaging me.

"Just, watch?" I ask smoothly.

"At first." Anoyher shuffle. "You usually stare at him. Sometimes I imagine you telling him to go faster, harder." His voice was smooth and sexy.

"And when he does?"

"You look at me. Watch me. Tell me how good I'm doing."

"And you are. So good, taking his thick cock so deep."

I like to think that I was joking. That's why I encouraged it.

_This is just a joke right? Two friends essentially having phone sex? Yeah. A joke. The topic'll change soon._

"Not nearly as thick as you moony." He purred back.

"He's just stretching you for me." I smirked.

_Wait... What?! No! Stop! What the fuck are you doing?!_

_Don't stop! You need to get over yourself. You don't want to stop. You want him._

I was starting to realize I had no idea who this person was on the phone with Sirius. I felt the blood rush to my cock and my hand on my zip as it inched towards it unnoticed. These conflicting thoughts in my head getting louder and louder. Everything happened in a blip of a second. I was dragged back by a noise from the other end.

A soft breathy moan.

"Sa- Sirius?" I stuttered out. "Are you?"

"Mmmhmm. You make me so hot moony." I heard shuffling as he moved to touch himself more.

I froze as I heard soft breathing over the phone.

"Please keep talking to me like that. I miss it so much. Miss you so much."

I wasn't unable to say a single word. I sat in arousal and confusion.

"Moony." He moaned. His end got quiet. "... Moony?"

I stuttered. I didn't even know what I was trying to say. I was so caught up in the fact that he really liked me.

_He wants to fuck me... And I him._

"Oh my god... Oh my god! Moony I'm so sorry! I thought... That... This is where it was heading. Fuck! I'm so so sorry!" The worry and panic rose in his voice. I stayed silent.

_Fuck I want you. Not just your voice. I want all of you._

"... I understand if you're mad... If you want me to stop. Stop talking to you."

"Yes." I blurted. I could hear a sad silence.

"I mean no! Well... Yes and no."

"Well which is it?" He said with a sad whisper.

_How do I say this?_

I took a deep breathe.

"Yes. I want us to stop talking... On the phone.. Right now." I thought through the words. I could feel his hurt through on the other end.

"Because I want you here, in my room, now."

Shocked silence. I couldn't help but smile.

"I would like to request you get your perfect ass here quickly; or else I'll have to punish you."

"Holy fuck." He said under his breath. I heard shuffling. "I'll be there soon!"

I laughed a little. "You don't know where I live."

"True."

I gave him the address and the instruction to be sneaky just in case. He lived a little bit away so I took the time to prep a bit. I cleaned a little and was fixing my hair when there was a knock at the door. I walked over and opened the door to Sirius leaning against the frame. His smile sent shivers through my body.

"Hey se-"

I didn't let him finish. I grabbed him amd shoved him against the wall and started to snog the fuck out of him.

"I missed you too." His smiling lips shiney and red.

"Fuck me." I whispered and backed up towards the bed. Ripped open his shirt and watched the buttons fly.

"Hey this is my favorite shirt." He tied to seem mad but I know it turned him on.

"Do I look like I give a fuck?" I leaned closer to whisper against his lips. "The only thing I care about right now is getting you out of these clothes." I rolled the remains of his buttonup off his shoulders and left only breaths between our lips.

"You're. So. Fucking. Hot." He said and pulled me up against him by the hips.

We fell together onto the bed. I moaned in his mouth as his tongue slipped into mine. I maneuvered to the head of the bed, him crawling to meet me, and our lips never leaving one another. He slipped his knee between my thighs and I grinded on it. I shuffled around so my knee was between his legs. We rutted against each other like two horny dogs. I kissed him deeply as my skin felt as if it had caught fire in the most pleasurable way. We broke only for a moment to catch our breaths.

"I want to feel you insi-" I was cut off.

A soft knock spun my head to the door.

"Rem?"

_Lily!_

A louder knock.

"Open up fuck face!"

_Meadows._

"Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck!" I whisper yelled and sat up. Sirius immediately jumped off of me.  
He grabbed his shirt from the floor and we both looked at each other in silent painic and slight amusement. my eyes darted around the room for a solution.

"The closet." I pointed.

"Really?" He smiled.

"Just get in." I couldn't help but laugh a little as I pushed him in and slid the door shut.

I opened the door and pretended to yawn.

"What is it?" I'm a terrible actor. But sleepy and confused? That I can do.

"Do you have company?" Lily asked. "I heard voices."

_Keep your cool Remus._

"It was just the telly." I answered.

"We need to talk Lupin." Dorcas walked passed me and in to the room. She kicked one of Sirius's buttons but didn't notice.

"Yes, Meadows please. Come in." I slurred sarcasticly.

"We're worried about you." Lily added as she walked passed me.

"I'm just here for the games you borrowed." Peter shrugged passed me and to my game drawer.

"You've been acting super testy lately." Dorcas started. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I was sexually frustrated and I didn't notice until she said something. I had been a little bitchyer than usual.

"I don't think so. Remmy we know you." Lily gave me a worried look as she looked around the room.

I hadn't cleaned in a little bit. I didn't pay much attention the past few weeks. My three friends had their backs to me when a noise came from my closet.

"Achoo." It wasn't super loud but it was enough to hear.

_Mother fucker._

They all turned around to look at me as I whiped my nose to cover it up. Dorcas looked at me suspiouly.

"Where is she?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"You have a girl in here don't you?" Dorcas rushed past me to the closet.

_Shit shit shit shit!_

She slid the door open.

_Shit shit shit shit!_

She paused, a disappointed look on her face.

"Nothing." She turned towards me.

_He must be at the other end. He's probably been in this situation before._

I tried not to sigh with relief.

"Achoo, achoo!"

 _Fuck_.

Dorcas threw back both doors and Sirius emerged with his hands up in surrender. His shirt was buttoned up in random spots. I didn't realize I'd ripped off that many.

"What. The. Actual fuck?" Dorcas turned to me. I shrugged with an awkward smile.

Dorcas started to laugh.

"Mars is going to lose her shit!" I felt my face fall and Meadows's words and looked at Sirius. He gave me a sympathetic look, as if he wanted to hold me, make it all better. I wanted him to but now wasn't a good time. We were caught.

"I think it's awesome." Lily gave me a soft smile. "Was routing for you two from day one."

"I'm saying I don't support it!" Dorcas clarified. "I'm just saying Mars is going to give Siri one hell of a shovel talk." She laughed. "Everyone knows Remus is her baby."

Sirius turned to me in shock. "Oh fuck."

Dorcas. took in the sight that was a disheveled Sirius.

"You've ruined your favorite shirt." She lifted the fabric.

"Yeah. That wasn't me.

I couldn't help but laugh a little. I had tears in my eyes.

_They're. They're ok with me? With us?_

I ran into Sirius's arms for that hug I wanted so badly. Dorcas and Lily cooed as I burried my face into Sirius's chest.

"Ok! I think that's all of them!" Peter turned to us with a stack full of games in his arms. "Oh hey Sirius! When did you get here?" Peter was known to be in his own little world, so deep he'd missed entire conversations.

"I was in the closet because you three walked in on Remus and I shagging."

I laughed and pulled him closer. Tears were still falling down my face.

"Oh! Ok!" Peter walked passed all of us and out the door. He once out of sight, we heard a skidding sound and loud running. Peter was back and shook to his core.

"Who! Wha! Whe! What?!"

°°°°°°°°∆°°°°°°°°

We all decided to watch a movie at Lily's that night. Peter sat on the floor in front of me. Lily, Mar, Meadows, Sirius, and I squeezed together on the couch. It was slightly uncomfortable with mine and Sirius's arms smooshed together.

_Put your arm around him._

_What?! No! Don't do that!_

_Who cares! They all know!_

I glanced to Marleen sitting on the other side of Sirius. She had her arm wrapped around Meadows.

'Go On' she mouthed to me.

_OK. Ok... Just._

I heard a yawn beside me and Sirius's arm moved up and over my shoulders. He pulled me in close and kissed my head.

We all sat in silence as the movie played.

"Hey Sirius?" Peter asked, not turning around.

"Yeah?"

"You know about sex stuff right?"

Sirius and Mar both laughed.

"I like to think so yeah."

"What's rimming?"

_... Fuck._

I stared straight ahead in shock, afraid to look at anyone.

"Why don't you ask Remus? He's VERY good at it."

I slapped his chest and he laughed.

"What?!" Marleen looked to me in shock while Lily and Dorcas started to laugh hysterical.

"What is it?!" Peter had turned towards us.

Lily crawled off of the couch, still shaking from laughter. She leaned over and whispered in Peter's ear.

"Remus John Lupin!" His jaw dropped. "You kiss your mother with that mouth!"

I died.

"Excuse me for not thinking about my mother when I'm eating out my boyfriend!"

An uproar of laughter filled the room. I looked to Sirius who watched me smiling.

'Boyfriend?' he mouthed with a smile. My face went hot and I turned back to the movie as he rubbed my shoulder.

°°°°°°°°∆°°°°°°°°

Sirius drove me home on his back that night. He parked right outside the building. I started to climb off the bike when he snuck between my legs that hung off of the edge. He placed his hands on either side of my hips as I sat side saddle on the seat.

"Before you go." He smiled and kissed me sweetly. My face warmed up and I smiled dorkishly.

"What was that for?" I wrapped my around his neck.

"Because I can." He teased and slipped his warm hands under the back of my shirt. "I can right? That's ok?"

I nodded and kissed him again.

"Soooo... Boyfriend?" He whispered into my lips.

I leaned back as the embarrassment of the night hit me.

"I'm sorry. It just-"

He laughed a little.

"Is that what you want?" He leaned to me. "Me to be your boyfriend?"

_Yes please._

His warm breath was entrancing in the cool night.

"Do you want me... To be yours?" I asked nervously

_Please say yes. Please say yes._

"Like I said before." He smiled "You're my moony."

I kissed his lips and felt my body warm with butterflies.

"Sirius?" A familiar voice came from behind Sirius.

He turned and I leaned to look.

Jess, Jac, and Adam stared in udder shock.

_God. Damn it._

_"Remus?!" Jess_ asked with her jaw to the floor.

I buried my head in Sirius's neck and looked at them over his shoulder.

"Hi guys." I muffled making Sirius laugh.

"You're Moony?!" Adam concluded. Sirius looked to me in confusion. I hit him soon and he looked back to Adam

"Sorry Adam." He started. " We didn't mean to bother you.

"Hey. No uh... No problem man just... Moony?!" Adam kept looking at me so confused.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yep that's me!" I was too giddy to care really.

"Yep! My moony." He kissed me again and I felt the world started to disappear.

I heard muffled awes and Jess and Jac laughing.

"Quit gawking! You can do that at home!" Jac dragged Adam away.

My body was warm and safe.

_I never thought I'd be allowed to be this happy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just got done with this chapter I've been working on for 3 months!
> 
> Enjoy My Darlings!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this but I really wanted a Pornstar!Sirius damn it! If anyone can find another fic with that tag could you please send me the link? I've looked everywhere and can't find one.
> 
> Tell me what you think and I hope you enjoy my Darlings!
> 
> \- Your friendly neighborhood demon.


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